Birthday

What is the obsession with birthdays about? Why do we choose to forget that every birthday is a sentence to a death day?

Birth is the lottery of the Universe. Where you are born, to whom you are born, with what genetic characteristics you are born, all these determine your life experience to a great degree. Those, for the most part, who are blessed in birth deny this, but it is true, statistically and scientifically.

So, life itself is a lottery. There are winners and losers on an elemental level. One human reaction to this reality is to claim their winnings are deigned by a Supreme Being. Another is to enshrine their luckier ancestors as deserving of great praise and sanctity. Yet another is to establish and enshrine a genetic dynasty. The losers of life's lottery cope, strive and survive as best they can. If they are fortunate enough or aggressive enough, they may find themselves in a society which believes in social security and economic justice for all. If not, they live and die in hunger, pain and misery.

I have always found birthday celebrations somewhat silly. "Look how wonderful I am." or "Look what a wonderful human being I have made." or "Look at what a wonderful person I have employed or found to love." These have been the undercurrents of all too many birthday celebrations I have observed. While I think applauding, supporting and loving people every day is a worthy practice, I feel uncomfortable when I see celebrations that are lies in settings where the daily practice of love, support and appreciation are badly lacking. These parties often ring of hypocrisy and token compensation for neglect and bad treatment.

I happen to believe my death day is a much more important day, of which to be constantly mindful. It may be today. I think of how different human society would be, if we all were aware of this in every moment as part of our human experience.

Part of becoming a true humanist is embracing the reality of the human condition in your own daily life. Every human being you see has been brought into life unwillingly into circumstances outside his/her control. Most have been brought into life by human beings who have not realistically accepted the grave responsibility of reproduction. They have rolled the dice for the unborn, who must then live with the consequences for a whole lifetime and then die.

This brings great sobriety to bringing another human being to life. I have seen those who have accepted this fully. They are the few exemplary parents I have met. However, I have seen many more birthday celebrations where the true children were the parents, still at sea with what their lives are truly about.

As a totally homosexual man, I have won one lottery, I feel, by not having the biological urge to take the vast staggering, responsibility for fathering another human life. This does give me a very different perspective on birth and death. I do not see myself as somehow becoming immortal through my offspring, for example. This is a concept that seems rather primitive to me, frankly.

I am the genetic offspring of two human beings, but I certainly am not either one of them in consciousness or practice. I would not want to be. It is enough of a burden to live with what I have been left genetically and environmentally through their transmission of various challenges to be overcome. Perhaps, if I had been otherwise gifted, I would feel differently. I understand that. But, I have not, and billions of others on this planet have not. My empathy and compassion is with them.

I have struggled with this question for many years now. I no longer see my displeasure over my birthday as simply neurotic, as I have been encouraged to do by many I know. My practice every year is to use my birthday as a time to meditate on these issues again. And, as the approach of my death day becomes more palpable, my perspective becomes wider and deeper on the randomness and commonality of all life. So much of being human, it seems to me, is choosing to do daily whatever we can to improve on life's accidents for all our fellow beings.

Socialism

As I look at the current culture here in the U.S., I wonder if all the hyperactivity I see is a symptom of unmedicated or overmedicated anxiety and/or depression. The obsessive use of smart phones in public by a growing percentage of Americans is disturbing to me as a former psychiatric nurse. I see self-imposed social isolation in the midst of crowds everywhere. It looks like self-imposed autism.

I ride the subway frequently. Subways are marvelous, random microscopes for the scientific and observant. I study my subway cars. I would estimate that, on average, approximately 20-30% of passengers busy themselves with smart phones without eye contact or apparent engagement in their environment. On the posher spans, through wealthier communities, I would up that estimate to 30-50%.

In poorer communities along the subway lines, single passengers who are not focused on their smart phones usually stare blankly ahead and avoid all eye contact with other passengers. Disabled and elderly passengers in the aisles are ignored or buffeted by passengers as they push in or out of the train. In wealthier communities, groups of passengers take over sections of the train car. Often they sprawl over sections of several seats and yell across the aisle, while other standing passengers are packed tightly in the aisle around them. This is overt, antisocial behavior, practiced by the young and middle-aged alike.

I see these behaviors as symptoms of the conscious and unconscious manipulation of the society by financial-capitalist business, government and media. The individualistic materialism of the past two decades has been fostered by media and Reaganite (neo-conservative and neo-liberal) political ideologues, who are hand-in-hand with financial institutions and corporations. The entrepreneurial, anti-tax, anti-socialist messages are unrelenting. Socialism has become a dirty word. Lack of socialism on a very pragmatic, democratic, non-totalitarian basis is a destructive force when human beings are overpopulating their environment. We need look at Haiti for an example of the end point of this.

This trend can take the U.S. in only one direction. Greater class separation, class conflict, violence and the degradation of the overall quality of life. Those with wealth are apparently blind beyond their own greed and need for celebrity adulation by the duped masses. This is not new. It is a sad replay of pre-democratic history. And, democratic socialism is not the cause. It may well be the cure.

Valentine

 "The first representation of Saint Valentine appeared in the Nuremberg Chronicle, (1493); alongside the woodcut portrait of Valentine the text states that he was a Roman priest martyred during the reign of Claudius II, known as Claudius Gothicus. He was arrested and imprisoned upon being caught marrying Christian couples and otherwise aiding Christians who were at the time being persecuted by Claudius in Rome. Helping Christians at this time was considered a crime. Claudius took a liking to this prisoner -- until Valentinus tried to convert the Emperor -- whereupon this priest was condemned to death. He was beaten with clubs and stoned; when that didn't finish him, he was beheaded outside the Flaminian Gate. Various dates are given for the martyrdom or martyrdoms: 269, 270, or 273.[8]"...Quoted from Wikipedia Entry on St. Valentine.

Now let's get this straight, so to speak. One plausible real person, made patron saint of St. Valentine's Day, the most mainstream holiday of romance and marriage in the Christian world, was a Christian priest martyred for marrying (political) minority couples by an intolerant (polytheistic) state? Well now, I guess we can all take a lesson from that, can't we?