Companionship

Who knows your truth? With whom do you share your life experiences openly and honestly? Where do you turn for honest criticism?

As we emerge from the dark age of the Bush administration in America, it seems interpersonal relationships have regressed in quality on some levels and progressed in others. The advent of Facebook and Linkedin have perhaps diminished isolation for the more socio-phobic. However, the level of intimacy in these virtual communities is inhibited by the constraints of the new hypocrisies about sexuality and gender roles. Leftovers from the born-again days.

This is also a post-psychological era in many ways. Drug companies have subverted psychotherapy as a method of personal growth and understanding. Alcohol abuse and alcoholism are once again epidemic on college campuses and in the lives of young working adults in urban areas. Drug abuse is also commonplace on all levels of society.

The stretch to intimacy in relationships is inhibited by the sense in many circles that "getting along" in groups is crucial. This breeds stagnation and conformity in such groups. Creative relationships wither in this atmosphere, where gossip and peer pressure are governed by mediocrity, political correctness (hypocrisy) and jealousy.

Trusting, committed companionship between two or more people is a precious asset in life, which can transform and sustain lives of creativity and expansion. Honesty in such relationships is key. Respect of personal differences and individual autonomy is also essential.

The current obsession in American society is finding The One. It seems absurd to see this stated by someone on Facebook who lists over 1,000 people as their friends. If I were to have 1,000 friends and had yet to find The One, I would logically assume I am not looking very hard, or that The One is not really whom I'm after. In fact, I would begin to think I was perhaps content with The None.

This brings me back to my original questions. The answers to these questions may vary. For some, the person most intimately involved in his/her day-to-day may be someone on a computer thousands of miles away. While relationships of this kind can be remarkably sustaining on an intellectual level, they do not provide the touch and hugs of affection which most human beings relish and need to feel loved.

At another extreme, the person most intimately involved with a person's life may be a sexual partner who is not even part of that person's day-to-day. The mistress or the sex buddy may know more about his companion than anyone else in his companion's life. This is not as uncommon as conventional morality would lead us to believe.

Integrating intimacy and companionship is the skill of a mentally healthy adults. It entails commitment on some level, occasional failure and creativity. The result is greatly nourishing. The rewards eventually outweigh the effort. True companionship with intimacy makes our lonely path from birth to death less arduous and more joyful.

Discovery

When you move through life, do you feel whole? Does your sense of self move with you? Does your perception of yourself and your life change with each circumstance you encounter?

Discovering who you really are is perhaps the most valuable and satisfying activity of any life. It is not easy. The mind can be a trickster.

The current prejudice in American society is anti-judgment and anti-analysis. This makes serious investigation of who you really are more difficult. Peer pressure may encourage you to pretend to be whoever you wish to be in any moment. Peer pressure may encourage you to accept your unhealthy obesity or drinking problem. Peer pressure may dissuade you from asserting what you know to be true or just. In some ways, the Facebook society is an extension of high school, not a mature environment, which promotes serious self-discovery.

Knowing yourself requires the dedicated practice of truth-telling. And it starts in front of your mirror. This requires time, patience and courage. Along the way, you may learn self-forgiveness, self-acceptance and the joy of rebuilding yourself in each moment into the person you wish to become.

Nonsense

So much of what keeps us from being in the moment and being happy is simply nonsense. From childhood, we are conditioned to adopt our cultural and familial norms. Layer upon layer of nonsense from the past of our families and the past of our environment gets wrapped around our brains. And, our brains operate through the filter of those layers of nonsense, unless we liberate ourselves.

Liberation, or awakening, doesn't just happen. Facing the nonsense in your mind requires work.

The work for some entails therapy. Others find liberation through sports or yoga. Some find it through meditation and study. The path to liberation is not a dead end. There is no Eden waiting for the liberated, no cozy cul-de-sac. Liberation, or awakening, is the beginning of a new open life. Liberation itself becomes a never ending process of self-challenge and renewal.

Like growing older, liberation isn't for the weak-hearted. To be in the moment requires strength and courage. To embrace the impermanence of all things requires the acknowledgment of one's own impermanence. I believe this can become part of a daily consciousness, which promotes ongoing liberation and personal evolution. Simply put, this consciousness entails challenging everything that comes to the mind against a standard of justice, truth and compassion.

Healing

The body is much more than the mind. The mind can interfere significantly with bodily wisdom. The body's mindless urges can also trouble the mind. These are challenges of the human condition.

Healing often entails telling the mind to yield to the dictates of the body. A common obstacle to healing, in my opinion, is the refusal of a tired and malnourished person to rest and eat properly. One result of this mind-dominated behavior is reliance upon drugs and alcohol for the facilitation of relaxation. Another result can be obesity, caused by reliance upon fast-food, sugar-caffeine drinks and carbohydrate snacks for energy.

The body's wisdom is simple. It will tell you when to breathe deeply, sit, sleep, eat or fast. However, to hear the body's wisdom, one must learn to shut off the mind's voice to hear the body's voice. This is where meditation can be helpful. By lying or sitting still for ten or fifteen minutes at some point during the day, you can tune into your body's voice and reap the benefits.

The choice to live entirely in the mind is promoted by technologically driven capitalist society. i-Phones, iPads, netbooks...all these devices promote mind-centered living. The eye becomes a portal for overwhelming amounts of mind-centered information. A mental form of bulimia can result. Gorging and purging. Cramming information and then blowing things/people up in computer games.

For the young and healthy, this is all a great ride. However, the ride itself, over time, can erode the health and well being of youth as it advances inevitably to middle age. By then, entrenched habits of being mind-centered, fatigued and malnourished start taking their toll. Healing balance must be initiated to avoid disastrous consequences.

Beginning a daily practice of some form of quiet relaxation or meditation for fifteen minutes in the middle of your day will bring tremendous benefit for very little cost. This can be done in a cubicle or on a park bench. Pay attention to how your body feels after these periods. Thoughts that seem particularly hard to escape while trying to clear your mind are the clues to what requires your healing attention.

Use the information access of technology to read up on good nutrition, the benefits of sleep and meditation. Health entails the ongoing healing of the inevitable toll time and gravity take on our bodies. While the mind may tell you that you are immortal or invulnerable, the body, which includes your brain, knows the truth of being. Living fully and well entails paying attention to that truth.

Ethics

Peter Galbraith, son of a prominent American political family, has demonstrated the etiquette and importance of ethics in true democratic culture. He has been castigated for it by corrupted men in international seats of power.



The corrupt shrug at the practicality of corruption in others. This is the way of politics and the world of materialistic men without ethics and higher vision. Keeping their secrets overrides keeping their standards of ethical behavior. When exposed, the corrupt encircle each other defensively, like a pack of attacked wolves. The truthsayer is isolated, punished, expelled.

This behavior has infected all layers of civic culture and business culture in the U.S. and in the developed world. It is symptomatic of governmental and corporate reactions to overpopulation, stressed environments and stretched natural resources. Greed is a symptom of the awareness of the wealthy classes, usually well educated, to the impending environmental disasters on this planet.

Is this behavior conscious? I doubt it is as conscious as it is pervasive and infectious. Capitalism has no consciousness. Corporations have no definable consciousness. Accumulation of wealth drives capitalist corporations in the same way hunger drives a pack of wolves. However, the hunger of corporations is unmitigated. Corporations never have full bellies. They never sleep.

The practice of truthfulness in all things is a bad business model in a capitalist world. This is a crucial conflict for any person who wishes to practice mindfulness, truthfulness and compassion in his/her daily life. It is a moment-by-moment choice. Making the right choice and taking the right action in each moment over time builds practice. In my experience, living in this practice, while never easy or monetarily enriching, builds the strength and skills which also ensure living well within the realities of the world.

Politicians

The recent death of Senator Edward Kennedy of Massachusetts gave the awake observer some tremendous insights into politics, government as we know it, and politicians. The mindful and truthful have been testifying against politics, government and politicians since these phenomena were invented. And King Solomon would again shake his head and shrug if he were alive today. Nothing new under the Sun.

At a time when politicians in the majority are taking bribes (they call these 'campaign contributions') from the private health insurance industry to keep the American people slaves to premiums which support a Byzantine insurance bureaucracy, we have heard somber, solemn and totally hypocritical eulogies about the one Senator in Congress who has consistently supported universal health care with no buts or ifs.

'That's the way our system works, ' I have heard them say in defense of their hypocrisy and corruption. They speak of the interests of corporations as though they were of equal moral and ethical merit as the interests of the population, The People. This is not only lying. It is unconstitutional. We are supposed to be a democracy of the people, by the people and for the people. Corporations are not people. CEOs and lobbyists are people, but they are an infinitesimal minority of the people. Why are their interests being held above those of all the people?

Most troubling to me is the lack of counterpoint coming from the Kennedys themselves. In order to provide themselves the glory of a state funeral, it appeared, they have allowed the most despicable celebrities of the political class to jump on the funeral publicity train. The very people who have plotted to defeat the central pillar of Edward Kennedy's career, universal health care, rushed to fill well positioned church pews in Boston.

Death is not negotiable. It has no nuance. It is not debatable. It has no Right or Left. And neither does Truth.

If Americans could grasp and internalize their mortality, stripped of all the opiates of religion, plastic surgery, hormone enhancement, and television, perhaps they would demand Truth from their politicians. Perhaps they would demand that a Truthful legacy be granted to honor a man of the caliber of Senator Kennedy. Perhaps they would demand basic human rights, like health care, for all Americans and all the people in the world.

Narratives

I have been in several new social situations recently. The word, narrative, came up in one of those situations. My mind instantly clicked on that word as very relative to my recent social experiences.

Prior to one of these situations, I found myself uncharacteristically thinking about what I would answer to certain questions I might be asked. I say 'uncharacteristically', because some years ago I decided to greet each potential situation as a blank slate by simply showing up and by not thinking about the situation before it even became a situation. However, this appointment potentially related very closely to my practice's foundations. I realized my speculation about the meeting was really an inventory of myself and my self perception.

Happily, I recognized that I had only one honest answer to any question which could be asked of me: The simple truth of my being in the moment of the question would be my answer. I experienced immediate relaxation of mind and body with this recognition.

Narratives, resumes, c.v.'s, portfolios are all condensations of our skills and accomplishments. Too often, these narratives are confused with identities. Unfortunately, they are most often based in the past. To anchor your identity to the past is stifling. While those things you have done may inspired confidence in your abilities, they are not a true measure of who you are or your human potential. In fact, many such narratives are tainted with minor fictional enhancements and distortions, while others do not begin to express the fullness and value of a life.

My practice entails being the truth of everything all I have been, I have done, all I have mastered and all I have failed to do in my life. Being that truth creates its own spontaneous narrative, when one is requested. This is known in many disciplines as being able to live in the moment, in the past and in the future simultaneously. In other words, experiencing having been, being and becoming as one. And, from this state, one may proceed on the journey to enlightenment.

In my opinion, enlightenment is not an accomplishment. It is also an unending work in progress. And the journey to enlightenment can be lit my a simple lantern: The lantern of my own truthfulness, mindfulness and compassion in every moment to the best of my ability.

Shade

Light and shade are ancient human concepts. The sun gives us the light and heat which sustain us. That same light and heat can cause us great pain and catastrophe. Man's appreciation of shade predates man himself. It is an animal instinct to get out of the midday sun. And, it is an animal instinct which draws us out into the sunlight.

Light is a metaphor for truth. Shade is a metaphor for dishonesty. Learning to live in full light and also shade our immediate passions and reactions is a way of looking at practice. Those who live entirely in the light with all their human and animal behaviors are the celebrities in the pop media. Those who live in the shade all the time, like former Vice-President Dick Cheney, become inhuman creatures with no sign of human dignity or human failing.

Those who learn the Middle Path know when to stay in the light and when to rest in the shade.

Messages

A wise man once told me, when I was a child, that the truth lies in what people do, as opposed to what they say. When I watch the proceedings in Washington, DC, in this inaugural season, I see politicians doing the same old things while they are voicing a need for change.

The country is in shambles, largely due to politicians, who ripped the guts out of government watch-dogs in the last 8 years. Where is the behavior of change in the new politicians. the Obama politicians? I cannot see change in their behavior. Not yet, at least.

I may be criticized for being skeptical or impatient or cynical. I may be all of these. However, I was also skeptical, impatient and enraged, when the Bush fascists stole the election of 2000 and behaved as impeccable patriots. That bunch turned out to be mass murderers of civilians in Iraq and Afghanistan, shameless torturers and invaders of the privacy of all Americans. And the populace of America, by and large, just watched or looked the other way.

I want those Americans who demand change, expect change, have been promised change to stand up to these new politicians. I want to see those Americans walk the walk. And, if they do not get change, I challenge them to return to Washington, DC, to demonstrate, instead of celebrate. This age of mass distraction by the media must end for true change to begin.

Racism

I am fascinated by the nebulous application of the word, 'racist'. For example, I have been accused of being racist by simply stating obvious, scientifically studied, sociological and anthropological elements of various racial and ethnic groups. Tribalism among Africans, for example. Matriarch worship among Latin Americans. Single female parenting in the African-American communities and its parallel in the poor white American communities.

However, given that I spent 20 years of my life physically washing, dressing and bandaging people of all origins with equal care and concern, I do not think I am more or less racist than the average decent human being with functional eyes, which are never color blind.

Now, when white people of all backgrounds across this country are obviously supporting an erratic, angry and bitter militarist because they will not vote for a biracial man with dark skin, few people anywhere seem willing to apply 'racist' as a descriptive adjective to these individuals. This means simply that America has become The Land of the Stupid and Superficial.

Living in fear of truth, science and the obvious will lead to disaster for any individual or society. Ask any well educated German or Russian about his nation's history. The Big Lie is always the common enemy. Unless you live in the light of truth and science, you are part of the Big Lie and cannot see beyond it.

Practice is a pursuit of truth. Self truth and world truth. Understanding the truth of things, as close as we can ever get to that truth, is a daily commitment and struggle, which requires time, energy and concentration on lots of information. Without this pursuit as a cornerstone of practice, life is filled with illusions and delusions. The deluded person cannot be a truly compassionate person.

Truth

Jeremiah Wright, the much maligned friend of Mr. Obama, is a speaker of the truth. And I do not mean HIS truth only. Part of the popular furor he has raised is akin to the whining resistance of a sleepy child who resents being roused from its blissful sleep. A greater part of the cynical negative propaganda against Wright comes from the fascist Right Wing of the Republican Party.

The poor are poorer than ever in the US. The Iraq War is an abomination. The Bush administration is corrupt and evil. The Congress is impotent. Racism is alive and prospering in the US in many different forms. The people are suffering at the hands of the greedy, wealthy and powerful, whether those privileged classes are aware of it or not. The rich are richer than ever and paying less of their share of the public funds.

The truth hurts those who choose to deny it or ignore it. Wright is simply saying what should be said regularly on the public airwaves and in the press. Those forums have been kidnapped by the Right Wing.

It is easy to dismiss Wright as a crackpot. His style is histrionic. But Martin Luther King would be saying the same things if he were alive today. King's style was also histrionic. Jeremiah Wright is a brave man to follow in King's footsteps. Fascist assassins have good aim. Cowardly Liberals too readily defer to the Right Wing's brutality.

Practice is difficult and dangerous. It does not make you popular.

Perspective

I am a scrap of paper on the wind of the Universe.

Imprinted deep in my fiber is a message, a truth.

That truth can move any heart or mind, set in stone.

Truthfulness

Truthfulness begins at home. It begins in your mirror each morning. It begins in your heart, not you mouth. Truth begins by looking your own image in the eye and being honest about who you are and what you think and feel. Start where truth begins each day, and you will be amazed at the results.

Corruption

The word, corruption, usually evokes images of a fat politician with a cigar in one hand and the other hand held out for a bribe. But corruption is much more subtle and pervasive than that image conveys. All things, on a basic physical level, are prey to corruption, due to oxidation, entropy and other phenomena. The process of evolution is a process directly opposed to corruption. Civilization is a human method of dealing with corruption on many levels. Our individual lives become corrupted physically by disease and mentally by greed, laziness and/or unhealthy dependency on people or objects. The shared lie corrupts and often leads to behaviors which hasten physical corruption as well.

Daily practices of exercise, nutrition, meditation, truthfulness, cooperation and sharing affection can aid in our attempt to ward off corruption of our lives.

Lies

The Truth is, of course, an abstract concept. I mean The Truth of a situation or an action contains many aspects. There is subjective truth, which is what the participants in a certain situation or action perceive as what really occurred or motivated them. There is the objective truth of what an observer or listener perceives about the same situation or action. This is obviously at the basis of Justice. Sorting out where the subjective and objective truths converge to create The Truth, in order to determine responsibility and accountability.

To live mindfully and compassionately in society requires constant assessment of what is truthful and what is a lie. The worst lies are those we tell ourselves. The more lies we tell ourselves, the less connected we are to The Truth of life and The Truth of being an evolving person.

One of the most common lies which we tell ourselves over and over again is a denial of our mortality. This particular lie is extremely corrupting to the human consciousness. To maintain it, people go to great lengths. The plastic surgery industry and the pharmaceutical industry can bank on that.

When I made the conscious decision forty-seven years ago to come out as a gay man, I took my first feeble steps toward the light of Truth in my life. It was a hard road then, and it continues to be a hard road now at times. Yet, I feel that I can see where I am going on that road. That makes each footstep a little easier.

Embracing the lies leads to much more confusion and pain in life. Lies require so much damn maintenance. Sharing in the lies of others layers blinding insulation over one's whole life to the point that any truth seems unreachable without a major breakthrough. For some, I suppose, this is what happens when they are 'born again'.

Taking the first step to The Truth begins in this moment, and the next, and the next. This is called practice.

Deception

What is the inevitable consequence of trying to project a person you are not? Human beings are fascinated by chameleons and con men. Where is the line between putting a good face on things and downright lying? I see so much deception encouraged on television in this celebrity culture. Everything seems geared to the end, despite the unethical or immoral means. Human evolution depends on effort to improve one's reality physically, psychologically, socially. But, how can you improve your reality if your life is based on self-deception? Becoming centered, patient and based in reality is my first step to personal evolution.