Value

The rapper/gangster subculture of the last twenty years has based song after song on the theme of respect. That culture seems incapable of realizing that respect is gained where respect is given. Brutality does not earn respect. It earns fear and violence.

Rather than approaching one another with macho intimidation, I suggest we take each other in with an eye to value those things which make each of us unique and valuable in some way. Valuing one another and ourselves for what we can contribute is a way to avoid focusing on our deficits and weaknesses.

The current pop-culture abhorrence of "judging" is often a defense against looking at selfish and/or dysfunctional behavior in ourselves. Judgment is absolutely necessary to survival and productivity in life. Anyone who stops judging human behaviors and situations will have a bumpy road ahead. However, judging behaviors can be balanced by valuing those aspects of behaviors, people and situations, which enhance our lives. In other words, it helps to learn to tolerate the bad, within limits, while appreciating the good in any relationship or situation.

As we become more adept at recognizing and validating value in our relationships and life situations, our lives gain depth and quality. This process helps us to define our own personal values, which then become sign posts along our paths in life.

Respect

The current gangster culture uses a perverted concept of respect as a currency to justify murder and other crimes. Gangsters demand respect with brutality and violence. The music of this subculture has infiltrated into the general society. It has been sold to youth by unscrupulous capitalists for profit. Television and films have furthered the infection of society by these dehumanizing influences.

Respect is indeed a concept of evolved civilization. Not the fear and threat of retribution, which gangsters equate with respect. True respect begins with the educated and evolved human being who understands that self respect is the precursor to generalized respect for all beings.

Respect cannot be extorted or demanded. To get respect, one must first learn to behave respectfully. And, despite having self respect and giving respect, there is no guarantee of getting respect when dealing with human beings who live in a low life condition due to stupidity, addiction and/or poverty. In the face of disrespect, the wise person immediately places distance between himself and the source of that disrespect. There is no sense in bargaining with disrespectful behavior.

Respect is both an element and product of practice.

Respect

Density of population places stress on daily human life. The increase of population density in cities occurs gradually, so the people in cities do not always consciously react to the changes. The reaction is more often unconscious and instinctive, ruled by the animal brain. People push on subways and in lines. People cut lines. People exhibit road rage. People beep horns on cars all too eagerly. Pedestrians are justifiably wary of cars rushing through intersections. Sidewalks become difficult to navigate. Tempers grow short. Cordial interaction becomes rare. Is it any wonder that respect is the issue in so many altercations between juveniles, who frequently act out what the society is dealing with unconsciously? It takes special intention to practice respect for others in these crowded times. Respect given is respect gained.