I was raised in European style. My family, for the most part, were new Americans. Our home, where my maternal grandmother lived, was the social nucleus for an extended family. This entailed weekly Sunday luncheons, gastronomic affairs with an abundance of peasant foods, recreated from Old World recipes.
I attended Euro-centric schools, taught by nuns and then Jesuits. The Jesuits who taught me were Francophiles for the most part. They summered in Europe, bicycled along the Loire, studied in Rome's libraries.
The Jesuits, being a rather hedonistic bunch despite their vow of poverty, taught us table manners, general etiquette and the ancient manners of hospitality, based in Greco-Roman civilization. It was a different time, before rappers and the omnipresent usage of obscenities in common speech.
I am glad I had the opportunity to glimpse the life of a more gracious time. Today, I value the exchange of hospitality greatly, but I find few people trained in or appreciative of the niceties of truly hospitable behavior. The general attitude today is rather basic and anarchic. "Here's the remote. There's the refrigerator and the microwave." Manners are often considered snobbery. This is a loss for the species. Perhaps it is an inevitability in an overpopulated and alienating world.
Part of my practice of compassion and caring is my developed sense of hospitality, despite my means. Hospitality is not made up of grand gestures. It is a sincere and affectionate sharing of one's happiness, home and resources.
