Work

What constitutes hard work? Does sitting at a desk in front of a computer constitute hard work? Does attending meetings in board rooms constitute hard work? Does counting money and scheming to make more constitute hard work? Does bathing an invalid constitute hard work? Does cleaning kitchens, bathrooms and public spaces constitute hard work? Does carrying heavy objects all day constitute hard work? Does building or maintaining a building constitute hard work? I hear the words "work hard" and "hard work" bandied about quite a bit in the media. Usually these words are used in relation to making money by those who have made a lot of it. Does making peace rather than war constitute hard work? Does giving rather than taking constitute hard work? Does preventing your own fear from being harsh or inhuman to others constitute hard work? I find it very hard work to do that which is more compassionate or more righteous thing over that which comes easily to me. That is why it takes conscious practice on my part to choose hard work over habit or impulse.

Epicureans

This is a time of obesity in the consumer world and hunger in the laborer world. Is it any wonder that American cable television boasts hour after hour about expensive food consumption and preparation? The elite, who have captured and dominate the international television industry, are obsessed with material pleasure and excess. This is not new, of course, but the elite of today number in the millions. They are served by billions who labor harder and harder as their overall compensation dwindles as a proportion of planetary resources and production. Greed is in. The Epicureans flaunt their devotion to pleasure, while always talking on TV about how they have paid their dues or worked their way up. This is myth in most cases. The masses are lulled into submission with false promises of open access to the upper levels of society drilled into their hypnotized TV-medicated brains. They stuff down their anger with starch and fat. There is no happiness in obesity or hunger. There is ultimately no happiness in attachment to pleasure and excess. There is happiness in the practice of moderation and living to promote economic equality and justice for everyone.

Christmas

Rituals like Christmas, it must be remembered, are the products of the past. These rituals bind us to the past. Do we want to be bound to the past, or do we want to look to the future? Christmas, in particular, stems from an ancient celebration/exhortation of the return of the sun for the new year in many pre-Christian cultures, primitive cultures, I might add. The reality is that every new year celebrated also is a year closer to our death. In light of that reality, I think jolly fat men in red could be replaced by sober men in black. My practice at Christmas is not based in disdain for fellowship and good will, when I refuse to engage in materialistic symbolism. My practice at Christmas is actually based in the observation of all mortality, renewal of spirit and the celebration the exemplary human ability to cooperate in peace, even in a time dominated by those who prosper by hatred and war.

History

Personal history. the traveled path of life, is much like human history. We re-enact evolutionary history in the womb, from single-celled organism to mammal. We struggle from blindness, ignorance and selfishness to awareness, intelligence and socialization. As we age, we pass through stages of civilization from gullible to informed, based on our environment, resources and capacity to learn. Hopefully, we learn to be mindful of ourselves, others, the planet, the Universe. We learn to be responsible. We learn to be compassionate. Hopefully. It takes a lot of work to grow from our history to a more enlightened present. That work is called practice.

Gifts

It is a time of holiday gifts. Gifts are frequently tokens of esteem, appreciation, homage, competition, attraction, speculation, sympathy, commemoration, conformity or other human feelings/motives. The operative word is token. The motive behind the token is often obscure to both giver and recipient. This is the product of living without mindfulness. Those driven by conformity during the holidays are often motivated by a desire to fit in or to be judged worthy of esteem and respect. Retail advertisers depend on this motivation to manipulate the susceptible buyer. I happen to believe the greatest gift I can give to individuals and society is my practice of daily mindfulness, compassion and responsibility. I cannot wrap this in a box with a pretty ribbon. I simply do this to the best of my ability every day of the year.

Light

The solstice approaches in the Northern Hemisphere. Light slants and throws long shadows in the middle of the day. The clarity of this light is noticeably sharper than the light of Summer. This light is blue and cool. It is not the light of evolving life. It is the light of pause and reflection. With this light comes the cold. The cold wind chastens. It disciplines the haughty and self-indulgent. It makes the strongest shoulders contract to conserve body heat. I am learning to walk in this cold. I am learning to stand erect in it, to breath its harsh bite with deep and measured breaths. I am learning to open my eyes wide in this cold, to survey its magnificent lessons about Nature and Life. Facing Winter is facing Death. It is part of my practice.

Pinochet

Margaret Thatcher mourns the passing of Pinochet.
Who will mourn the passing of Margaret Thatcher?

Tyrants

George Bush the Elder and his aristocratic wife, Barbara, heir to a media fortune, celebrated the Thailand King's birthday in Thailand this week. The Thai King, educated at Harvard University, subverted the democratically elected government of his country recently and supported a military coup, which still holds power. The American corporate-owned press has neglected this abuse of democracy for obvious reasons. Tyrants still roam freely on this planet. They feast at elaborate ceremonies together. They are lauded. Books are published which hail them as exemplary human beings. And, obviously from this birthday in Thailand, they all stick together. My practice entails resisting the tyranny of the few and of the many.

Sagacity

No fool like an old fool. Older is wiser. Both these adages apply. Where do we find the middle path in looking to elders for wisdom and advice? It is a difficult call. When I see men like James Baker, former Secretary of the Treasury/State and Right Wing hatchet man, being lauded as wise because he has been around power for a long time, I shudder. George Bush the Elder, reviled in 1992 as a failed President, is now gaining the dusty frost of aged respectability. The wealthy and rich, in my experience, are seldom wise. Their wealth and the habits they have developed to keep it tend to stunt their life experience. They are insulated, spoiled and rather rigid in their perspective. The aged poor, those who have struggled for survival throughout their lives, are also limited by their poverty. Their wisdom tends to be tainted by their habit of grabbing onto whatever they do have and never letting go. The middle path seems to lie in the direction of those who have known a fair share of success, security, failure and insecurity. True wisdom is based in some education, as well as experience. And, it seems to me the most foolish of paths to accept sagacity in anyone without questioning it continually.

Perspective

My life is a single bubble in the vast ocean of the Universe.

Vietnam

The overwhelming stupidity of the current American policy in Iraq, including the support of Congress for another year's 'mandate', must be motivated by corruption and greed. I say this as someone who lived through the American involvement in Vietnam and paid attention and protested. Anyone who lived through the American mistakes there cannot possibly deny the growing parallels with this misery in Iraq. And what happened when American troops left Vietnam? Eventually peace happened. The same will occur eventually in Iraq, and that very peace is what the corrupt and greedy fear most. A peaceful, reformed Iraq, whether democratic or theocratic, would not threaten American citizens here in America. That is a big lie to promote American paranoia and submission to an out-of-control Rightist regime, which has reaped billions of dollars from this policy for its patrons. It would threaten big oil, Zionist collusion with big oil, and despots like the Saudis. A reconciled Iraq and Iran, under common Shi'ite Islam, is the great nightmare of corrupt governments in Egypt, Syria, Jordan and Saudi Arabia. This concept scares the hell out of the Right Wing everywhere. Why? Because Shi'ite politics are far to the Left of any of the major players in the region at this time. It really is less about religion than it is about corporate control of all nations under one god. That god is money. And that god only smiles on the wealthiest ten percent of the world's population. My practice is to remain balanced and detached despite my anger over this bare fact. This practice separates me from the violent and the hopeless. I believe Truth and Light, the objects of man's earliest devotions, will eventually create balance and peace for all those who seek them.

Marxism

Karl Marx, refugee, philosopher, political scientist, lived poorly in exile in London with his family until his death. Marx, influenced by the great philosophical minds of his age, worked with his close friend, Friedrich Engels, at studying and expressing class dynamics in capitalist societies of the early industrial age. Marx is out of fashion. We have the dismal failure of the Soviet system of oligarchic and bureaucratic applications of Marxist principles to thank for the current eclipse of Marx's genius. However, history does repeat itself and capitalist ideologies will continue to face increasing population pressures, combined with environmental deterioration of the planet. I recommend reading Marx or about Marx in the readily available forms on the Web. He has helped to shape my world view, and has also helped me to form my personal practice. I feel Marx has as much to offer the modern underclasses as Jesus, Moses, Siddhartha or Mohammad.

Corporations

Gangs, clans and militias are the smaller versions of corporations. The behavior of the poor and disenfranchised reflects the behavior of the rich and powerful who dominate and exploit them. The world, as dominated by atavistic war-based competition between heterosexual males, is bound to be violent, despite illusions of so-called capitalist democracy. Until the people of the world unite against the greedy and aggressive, as they have done historically nation by nation, there will be no real peace or general human evolution.

Rituals

The Thanksgiving holiday approaches here in America. While the Democratic Party politicians may have a lot to be thankful for this year, the rest of us are struggling to figure out just what this ritual means in a fragmented society where even the sanctimoniously touted extended family is an anachronism. Yes, there is always a place for a party, a pot luck dinner, or a brunch among friends and relations. But, the commericalization and indoctrination associated with these end-of-year holidays seems more and more hollow each year. Perhaps this is a good thing. Our human attachment to the past is constantly being challenged. As population and survival pressures increase, due to environmental deterioration of the planet, it would do the species well to snap out of it and tend to what is important for the future. Perhaps the erosion of the overestimated family values, organized religions, national identities are all symptoms of an unconscious human adjustment to what is actually happening to us on a basic natural level. I hope so. For my part, it will require special attention to my practice to get through this holiday season with balance and emotional well being.

Warriors

I wonder at the universal acceptance of war memorials. We honor those who kill with impunity in the name of nationalism. Americans are hardly entitled to honor its soldiers as defenders. American soldiers, from its very inception, have been commissioned for aggressive acquisition of land and power. The first American army was commissioned to take the thirteen British colonies from the British Empire. It was not a defensive struggle. In fact, it was a struggle initiated by the colonists, who did not want to meet their fiduciary obligations to their country, England. The War of 1812 was indeed defensive, but it was defensive against the claims of the English resulting from the revolution. The bombing of Hawaii, an American colonized territory, by the Japanese marginally qualifies the American intervention in World War II as defensive. The Civil War was just that. It was not a war of aggression against "America". The current war in Iraq is a war of aggression and colonization. Warriors who defend the innocent with their lives may well be seen as heroes. Warriors who kill and maim the innocent in the name of some vague ideal which covers materialistic motives of the wealthy are hardly heroes. Killing is inhuman, from the perspective of the 'higher nature' of man. It is unjustifiable altogether in Buddhist thought. In my practice, I wrestle with my own tendency to anger, violence and hatred. This is indeed a war within myself. Perhaps we should strive to win these individual wars, billions of them on this planet. Then, and only then, will there be world peace.

Redemption

The truly stupid cannot be redeemed. Intelligence and information redeem the human mind and spirit from its greatest disease and greatest evil, stupidity. I was reminded of this today when I heard interviews of members of a fanatical Christian sect in Colorado. It seems their shepherd, a Svengali named Haggard, was buying drugs from and having sex with a gay male prostitute, while preaching intolerance to ignorant bigots on the weekends. It was, after all, a good living. He even got invited to help President Bush with his own stellar ministry of hate and destruction. The interviewed members of Haggard's church (money machine) refused to believe that the story was true, even after the lying Haggard went from an outright denial to gradual revelations of his guilt of the charges. I'm sure it will get even more entertaining. It's a basic 'my-shit-doesn't-stink' story. Glass houses abound out there, especially in Middle America. So do stone throwers. And, apparently, so do Tina queens. Redemption from stupidity begins with the acknowledgement of it. Unfortunately, it takes quite an education to learn just how stupid you are. Perhaps today even you would agree, Mr. Haggard.

Elections

Yes, it's payback time here in America. The cycle of human folly. They have destroyed a country, thrown it into civil war, to satisfy our rage over 9-11. Now the masses are bored with Iraq. The media too, it seems. Perhaps the two are the same. So, with the mentality of 'Monday-Night Football', the Middle Americans may actually vote to the left. They weren't motivated by the potential gutting of Social Security. They weren't motivated by the Medicare drug plan to help the upper middle class (Republican base). They weren't even motivated by illegal immigration. IF America were truly a democracy, we would all have a big, red VOTE button on our computer keyboards and on our digital-TV remote controls. Could Middle Americans handle that responsibility? Perhaps not. Politics are a true test of my resolve to maintain my practice.

Halloween

The current elevation of Halloween to a commercial and community holiday is symptomatic of many elements of modern American culture. Neighborhoods are littered with plastic and paper products, branded with orange and black themes of pumpkins, skeletons, scarecrows, vampires, etc.. Walking around my own neighborhood convinces me that the owners of the decorated homes have absolutely no idea what this ritual is really about. However, I am convinced that Walmart rules in their households, which contain impressionable children under the age of eighteen. The lack of mirth in the American culture is reflected in this penchant for gloom, fright and death. The patent disregard for the general appearance of the neighborhood, the environment, is also glaringly obvious in these displays of disposable materials. Halloween has eclipsed Thanksgiving, it seems. The latter holiday, in its traditional American form, was a time for community functions for the needy, high school sports events, and a history-minded reflection on the controversial origins of this nation at the expense of its native inhabitants. Thanksgiving now is a long weekend for travel, since American families are no longer community-based. Halloween is a community holiday to the limited extent that Americans celebrate community in these times. America is balkanized. Ethnic communities have once again superseded the community at large. In the absence of the nationalist fervor of war fever, like that of 2001, what is the American community? What is the American identity?

Oppression

Oppression is accomplished by instilling fear.
Fearlessness is the antidote.
Face the oppressor.
Look him in the eye fearlessly and firmly.
Stare down the oppressor wherever he appears.

Oppression is accomplished by instilling fear.
Liberation is accomplished by rejecting fear.

Perception

I know I struggle with my self perception daily as I grow older. Gravity is changing me. My DNA is winding me down. Perception is very tricky. Philosophers have struggled with the concepts of subjectivity and objectivity for centuries. I have been snapping photos lately on my daily walks. This shot has jarred my perception, even though I took it and know exactly what the subject looked like in my eyes as I was taking the photo. I am learning in my practice to try to give qualified attention and validity to my perceptions. I must perceive, assess, judge and act. I am human. But I am learning to always accept that my perception may be skewed or flawed. By testing my perceptions with the perceptions of those I trust, I often learn a great deal about myself. Life, lived fully, is a joint venture.

Microfinancing

Last week an Indian banker was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. Truly amazing. This man has made a living from giving loans, as little as $27, to the poor of India. He boasts changing lives by bringing entrepreneurs out of poverty. There is a 50% success rate among his customers, though most pay him back. His greatest boast entails lending money to women in rural villages who then buy HIS cell phones (he happens to own the largest cell phone company in India). The women then charge fellow villagers to use the cell phone because they cannot afford to buy one. Chances are most never will, if they spend all their meager savings renting the cell phones from this man's customers. In a society where people are reduced to feeling like microbes due to poverty and overpopulation, I wonder if it matters to them whether they are consumed by a shark or a minnow. In any case, I think the Nobel Peace Prize Committee has really captured the spirit of these times. I suppose, in the current materialistic mind, which is encompassing the Industrial World, the possibilities for profit and sainthood are endless and entwined. I do not believe in saints, con men or profiteering philanthropists. It is part of my practice to see and speak the truth as I see it.

Photography

I have taken to snapping pictures during my daily walks. I was very resistant to this idea for a long time. I have had a hard time with cameras most of my life. I am glad I have decided to play with this medium. It has become a challenge and a creative daily exercise. There is also the technological learning curve. I post the photos to my Flickr site, which is in my links section on the right of this page. Most fascinating to me is the reaction the camera, just being there in my hand, elicits from my fellow pedestrians. It evokes a shyness in some. Curiosity in others. And obvious paranoia in a few. Policemen seem especially suspicious of the camera. Interesting. In fact, they appear consistently to have a rather guilty expression, like I may catch them doing something they are not supposed to be doing. This strikes me as rather an odd reaction for guardians of the peace and of our civil freedoms. This process is changing my relationship to my environment. I cannot say exactly how, but I can feel the change in my consciousness. My practice is enhanced by doing new things, especially things I tend to resist, because I fear discomfort, embarrassment or failure.

Autumn

delight in the death
the browning smell
the blue metal skies
winter's mild warning

delight in the death
see your own in it
accept it and inhale
release your breath

delight in the death

Cowardice

A Republican representative from Florida resigned today from his seat in the U.S. Congress because it was discovered that he was coming on to a 16 year old male Congressional page. Here is an example of true cowardice on all levels. This is a man who is affiliated with a party which openly and proudly discriminates against homosexuals. This is a man who is affiliated with a party which is openly holier-than-thou on just about every political issue. This is a man who preys on adolescents, despite holding considerable power and privilege in this corrupt Republican government. Shades of Goering. When will the people awake from their stupor and reject these bullying cowards? I hope, for their own sake, it is soon.

Stocks

The stock markets are evolved monsters, originating in market squares of primitive villages. They are the playground of the wealthy, greedy, aggressive and materialistic. In recent times, they have been touted to the general public as beneficent and necessary features of 'freedom' in the capitalist catechism. This is part of the scheme, of course. The scheme of the rich to get richer at the expense of the gullible. Socialism is the only check against runaway capitalism. Socialism, basically embodied in the sharing of capital and resources through government administration of tax revenues, has been responsible for the general improvement in health, education and quality of life for the masses of the industrial societies. Stock markets are to social welfare, as casinos are to hospitals. In other words, apples and oranges. While freedom does entail the unimpeded existence of stock markets, it does not exclude socialism. And, the source of the wealth required for social improvements in a society is basically irrelevant. However, the recent attempt of government to fuse the concept of stock market trading with social welfare is perverse and dangerous. That is the road to fascism. In my own practice, I try to align my need for economic freedom with my social responsibilities to the general society. I do not begrudge my tax payments, unless I see those revenues being stolen or squandered by unscrupulous politicians. It takes the vigilance and right action of all citizens in a society to maintain and promote the welfare of everyone in it.

Ideologue

We live in strange times. Recently I listened to a black woman who happens to be an ideologue of the Bush militarism here in the US. She also happens to be Secretary of State. While I do understand how her rage over white racism of her youth in the South may have engendered in her a need to hold and wield power, I do not understand why she would choose to join a regime which wages wars on foreign civilians, spies on American citizens, tortures non-combatants and ignores the deterioration of the world environment. I have learned from oppression, due to my sexual orientation, that oppressing others does not foster peace and the reduction of hatred in the ecology of humankind. I hope this educated woman may someday learn that lesson.

Society

A society cannot exist functionally as a factionalized collection of diverse cultures, languages and classes. The American liberal ideal of diversity and multiculturalism cannot be achieved when the various groups in the society refuse to acculturate or subscribe to a common culture, which supersedes other cultural prejudices and traditions. I am currently experiencing the negative effects of a neighbor's racism and refusal to acculturate and comply with established American codes of behavior. The neighbor, who is foreign-born, refuses to step out from a very basic alienating defense, based in language and race. He resists friendship. He acts autonomously in the way he behaves on his property, which adjoins the property of others. He does not feel responsible to his neighborhood in any way, and he makes this quite clear. He represents, in my way of thinking, what is wrong with the current American tolerance of dysfunctional immigrant behavior. Our leaders, the rich and powerful, obsess on terrorism from abroad because they do not live among the uncultured immigrants who populate America's working class neighborhoods. They fail to realize that the actual threat to the best of American culture, the commonality of purpose and ideals of social harmony, lies in the factionalism caused when immigrants isolate themselves and cling to the less ideal aspects of the cultures from which they originate. While my own practice entails trying to reach out to individuals from diverse backgrounds, I accept that America's decline may come from its lack to venerate its own unique cultural ideals, based in the the much maligned and secular Protestant Ethic of its founders.

9-11

He could have mobilized the army to all the seaports, airports and borders.

He could have bombed a trench along the deserted US border with Mexico.

He could have poured billions into hi-tech security devices.

He could have poured billions in educational aid to Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan.

He could have poured millions into building internet access in poor nations.

He could have poured billions into food and housing for refugees here and abroad.

He could have poured billions into AIDS drugs and education in Africa.

He could have poured billions into the urban African American communities.

He could have poured billions into health care for all Americans.

He could have poured billions into free college/vocational/technical education for poor Americans.

He could have spared more than 2000 American military lives.

He poured our money into death, destruction, corruption and retribution.

And we, as a nation, let him.

This is the enduring tragedy of 9-11.

Quiet

morning quiet
racing mind
birdsong canvas
sit and center

Muscles

I was in a crawlspace today under my porch. I tried to avoid the simple chore that needed to be done because I am claustrophobic. I took it as a challenge and was able to get centered enough to attack it. The space is 24 inches high. The spiders seem to like it. In getting in and out of the crawlspace, I noticed I was using muscle groups in the center of my body which I never usually use. It was a painful realization. It made me think of a current exhibit here at the Museum of Science, which has on display flayed human bodies, preserved with plastic injections. As our cognitive skills become more central to our survival, it seems we must consciously practice at using our bodies' full potential. Facing health challenges makes this even more daunting. I am committed to using my body's potential as best as I can as part of my daily practice.

Weight

The perception of gravity, a fixed physical constant, does vary. It varies with the heat, humidity, fatigue and body mass. I often measure my state of being by my perception of gravity. If I feel heavy, I know I need to meditate and/or rest. Rather than obsessing about my waistline, I prefer to be conscious of my experience of my weight in gravity. It is important to my practice to remain very aware of my perceptions of those simple physical realities outside my control. Taking a breath, stopping to assess, taking the appropriate measures to remain centered, these are important ways to stay well and in harmony with the Universe.

Parable

A solitary traveler, a man, walked through a cold mountain landscape until night began to fall. He found a cave in the hillside and entered it. His eyes adjusted to the darkness and he saw a group of monkeys, huddled in the far reaches of the cave. They were shivering with cold, but they were also glaring at the man with obvious defensive rage. They began to howl and approached the man with bared teeth. They were there first and felt the cave was theirs, the man thought to himself. The man remained calm and took food from his travel bag. He extended the food to the monkeys and they grabbed it greedily. They fought among themselves and ate it all up very fast. They huddled again together in the back of the cave for warmth. They regarded the man with suspicion, but they no longer threatened him. The man was cold too. He gathered some kindling and branches from the area near the mouth of the cave. He did not want to travel any more in the cold and dark. So, he lit a fire near the mouth of the cave. He did this to respect the monkey group's space and to keep the smoke from filling the cave. The monkeys panicked because they did not understand that the man controlled the fire. They tried to drive the man off, but he brandished a blazing branch against them. They ran off into the cold night with howls of misery and anger. The man, accustomed to solitude, sat happily by the fire and wondered what would have happened if the monkeys had stayed.

Diet

I will share the Buddha's Pillow diet. It is guaranteed to work. It is this: Eat less and walk more.

Ugliness

Beauty is probably in the eye of the beholder. However, I have had some insight into ugliness recently. I was on the subway the other day and was in a mood to observe the other passengers closely. There was a generous cross-section of humanity on my car. The ugliest person on the train, as far as I could see, was a snarling businessman with movie star looks and an expensive suit who nearly knocked an old man to the floor in his aggressive leap for a seat while talking without a pause on a cellphone. In a society obsessed with money, big houses, celebrity, plastic surgery and physical appearance, I see ugliness everywhere in the pretty and the privileged. And, their ugliness infects the society which they dominate.

Possession

We truly possess nothing. Possession implies control over that which is possessed. At best (or worst), we make a social contract through Law to have the exclusive right to hold or use something. Yet, the Law can take that so-called possession away at the rap of a gavel. Even our own bodies are not solely controlled by ourselves in society. And, if you have ever yet dealt with a life-threatening or maiming disease, you know that possession of a human body is no guaranteed paradise or refuge. I recently watched a documentary about the removal of radical Jewish settlers from the Gaza Strip. Indoctrinated by theology, these poor human beings went through hellish torment. Not at the hands of the Israeli army, which had the sad task of trying to help these people. In fact, their hell was a result of their religious gullibility and delusions. They simply could not let go without torturing themselves in the process. Learning to tread the Middle Path between possession and being possessed is a very crucial part of my own practice. It requires tremendous will to propel my spirit from the weight of fear, conditioning and the endless pressures of society to conform to the delusion of materialism.

Fear

Recent discovery of a plot to kill passengers on commercial aircraft has once again raised panic in the entitled developed world, which is hesitant to demand an immediate stop to the violence in the Middle East where civilians are being killed in considerable numbers daily. The fear is rational and well earned. If your government practices and supports unjustified violence against innocents, isn't it rational to expect retaliation by those who are horrified by this injustice? Of course it is. If you see death as a weapon, as a form of punishment, it is wise to fear it with your whole being.

Materialism

Pop singer Madonna, with all her erudite brilliance, once extolled the concept that it's a material world. Well, it appears to be a simply material world to those who do not look beyond the surface of things. In reality, the world, and the universe, actually seem to be composed of what we call energy. Matter, it seems, is really a form of energy. In any case, the impermanence of matter eludes those who are focused on the surface of things. Aggressive hoarders of material wealth and objects rule this world. That is indisputable. But look at the world they rule and how they rule it. Yet the oppressed and the exploited still look to the acquisition of material wealth as a solution to their personal problems. I suppose they deserve the world as it is. They will certainly keep it the way it is by subscribing to the engine of aggression and greed which currently dominates politics and economies. A core principle of my practice is letting go. This principle allows me to enjoy the more pleasant material realities of life without having to aggressively accumulate and possess more and more at the expense of others.

Religion

Religion is segregation. Religion breeds elitism. Religion fosters comparison and conflict. The hereditary nature of religion supports hierarchy, patriarchy and the oppression of the poor. Religion is not an opiate; it is a disease.

August

The temperature here is nearing 100 degrees Fahrenheit. Animals are seeking water wherever it may be found. The squirrels look anorectic. The birds are quiet. The insects are slow. The cicadas are droning a complaint for all of us. The planet is getting our attention. We do not control it. It does not control itself. There is no control. The Universe is chaos. Happiness comes with knowledge (study), acceptance and determination to creatively live within this chaos. Personal evolution comes with sharing happiness and fostering compassion for all beings in our own lives.

Projection

Projection is a term referring to a human tendency, as a defense, to project personal fears, faults, failings, emotions upon another who is perceived as safe, neutral or hostile. Example: An insecure person who is performing well at work might still accuse a taciturn boss of thinking he is inadequate if he is stressed. He projects his own feelings of inadequacy onto the blank screen of the inscrutable authority figure. I feel that projection has become an American habit, especially on the geopolitical level. We point fingers at repressive and racist regimes, while the current government in America is sexist, racist, repressive, secretive. We point at 'terrorists' as beastly, irrational and violent, while we senselessly bomb and shoot innocents in the name of democracy, a political system which we do not even have in America. America is a federal republic, not a democracy. If America were a democracy, it would not be run by 10% (the corporate wealthy) of the population. I have an idea. I think, if people began to stop projecting and start communicating about what is really happening around them, things might begin to get better. Try it.

Workaholic

I have recently read several articles about young people in America's middle class who take pride in working 70-100 hours per week at corporate jobs. In these materialistic, socially irresponsible times in America, this is seen as commendable. America ranks 5th in per-hour productivity, according to one study, behind four European nations, where work hours are much shorter and vacations much longer and more frequent. In other words, these compulsive American workers are doing less in more time. What are they trying to avoid? Are they trying to avoid conflict with insatiably greedy corporate bosses, who pay themselves exorbitantly and lavish luxury and liesure on themselves and their families? They will obviously avoid meaningful cooperative relationships with other human beings. Those relationships require time, attention and consistency. Is it any wonder that some reports indicate that sexuality among these workaholics is more and more alcohol/drug laced and utilitarian. What does it mean for a society when its educated achiever class are isolated by work which precludes quality social and cultural contact? The answer is already quite visible in newspapers and on the streets. Quality of life requires diversity of life experiences and moderation in all things. This quality lies within the Middle Path of Buddhist practice.

Violence

Israel is currently invading and bombing Lebanon. Civil war is raging in Iraq and Afghanistan (more quietly there). All over the ailing planet, violence persists. Despite great technological advances in communications and medicine, people are still resorting to primitive means to stake out territory, maintain control, sustain life. Why? The wealthy and privileged all over the planet shrug and say, "It has always been and will always be so." In reality, the wealthy and privileged promote violence to secure their own power and control. They buy and sell weapons. They play sides. They wager in stock markets on the outcomes of violence. This is the greater world-wide evil. In my practice, I avoid violence as best I can. Internal violence and external violence. However, my practice does not preclude self defense or the defense of the defenseless.

Deception

What is the inevitable consequence of trying to project a person you are not? Human beings are fascinated by chameleons and con men. Where is the line between putting a good face on things and downright lying? I see so much deception encouraged on television in this celebrity culture. Everything seems geared to the end, despite the unethical or immoral means. Human evolution depends on effort to improve one's reality physically, psychologically, socially. But, how can you improve your reality if your life is based on self-deception? Becoming centered, patient and based in reality is my first step to personal evolution.

Elitism

I am currently reading Gore Vidal's memoir, "Palimpsest, A Memoir". I appreciate Mr. Vidal's wit, educated cynicism and downright wickedness. I think he is funny. Always have. However, I am mystified by the evolutionary failure of men like Mr. Vidal, who are raised among the elite, see their failings and persist in becoming elitists themselves. Power indeed corrupts. The point of this blog, this part of my practice, is to do what the elite do not wish to do. That is to simply share what I know, think, hope and do in an effort to both learn and perhaps inspire. This blog is not a competitive enterprise, or a means to engrandize myself. My real motivation, which I cherish in my own being and becoming, is woefully absent in the elite, as I read them. I find that absence terribly discouraging of my hopes for human evolution. I read the writing of the elite to try to understand what, other than power, they have to offer. So far, I have been disappointed to find that many, although exposed to a vast diversity of life experience, avoid basic human truth. A wise man two millennia ago, as the legend goes, spoke of the eye of a needle and a camel in this respect. And, if entering what he called heaven means what I consider the evolution of being human, I have to agree with him.

Weeds

I did some weeding in my garden today. I was fascinated to find that a certain grass has developed an affinity for my impatiens plants. The grass weaves itself between the leaves of the flowering plant. The grass roots were sucking all the moisture from the roots of the impatiens. Exploitive vegetation. All beings must face scarcity and competition on this planet in some form. Learning not to exploit is a major evolutionary leap in a lifetime.

Independence

Independence is a very mixed concept. The more we learn of life on this planet; the more we realize that nobody and nothing is truly independent. Independence, as celebrated in the USA on July Fourth, was a concept born of the Age of Enlightenment. It was fed by the self interests of American bourgeoise, whose materialism was inhibited by British taxation. Today's equivalent in this Internet Age is the libertarian ideal of the yuppy entrepreneur who makes a fortune in his/her 'youth' and retires to snowboarding by the age of 35 and a life of dividends, travel and tax shelters. Despite this ideal, the middle class has raised an inordinate number of fiercely dependent young adults who are living with their parents long after graduating college. Meanwhile, the children of the poor have been thrown into an earlier independence, since welfare programs for single mothers have been severely cut. Americans are more dependent than ever on religious figures. Churches of personality are being built all over by entrepreneurial pastors, who feel free to dabble in moral directives and politics. Perhaps there is a middle path between independence and dependence. Perhaps it is an intentional co-dependence, based in cooperation and compassion.

Mouse

A mouse ate through a bag of potato chips in my cupboard. It was the first evidence of a rodent visitor in my house since I moved in one year ago. Odd. I am convinced that I may actually be the visitor. The mouse is probably the descendent of many generations of furry forebears in this house or its vicinity. I most likely will be passing through this property, despite my sense of human ownership, faster than the mouse's progeny. To the mouse, I would guess, this series of squared walls and ceilings and pipe chases is simply an extension of earth and roots and plants which surround my little house. There is probably little room in mouse consciousness for the human house concept. To my mind, that makes the human element of the landscape seem much less important in the big picture of life. I envy the mouse's unconscious foraging. I envy the mouse's capacity to deftly make my space his/her own in as much as it provides the mouse with what the mouse needs. There is a great Christian message about all this. Most Christians, quite blatantly, choose to ignore it. In my practice, I hope to retain this consciousness of the appeal of mouse-ness.

Spite

I have known people in my life whose lives are ruled by spite. Despite their advanced ages, they were still basing life decisions in reaction to parents or others who were long dead or completely removed from their actual lives. I find this very saddening to observe. In fact, I consciously avoid the company of people who live spitefully. Life's possibilities for evolving as a person and doing some good along the way are everywhere around us. We are not trains, confined to laid tracks going in one of two directions. I have struggled with spiteful reactions in my life. I know how automatic they can become. However, the effort to break from spiteful action is well worth it. It can be life pushing back a curtain to discover a new world of seemingly endless possibilities.

Lily

The lilies are blooming in my front garden. Pink, cream, orange, burgundy red. Their beauty is so casual, so nonchalant. Their scent is alluring. We all come from the earth, like the lilies. It is part of my practice to take a lesson from their graceful short lives.

Surgery

I have become acquainted with surgery in recent years. An acquaintance I would have gladly avoided. The advancements in surgery have helped me to an extent. However, they have also caused me to reflect on my powerlessness over the deterioration of my own body. This is the greater benefit. I am learning to truly accept what I truly am. I am a finite and physically vulnerable living being. Learning to accept this with heartfelt peace, not mournful resignation, has been one of my greatest accomplishments. I never thought, in my troubled youth, that I would ever achieve such personal peace. Part of my practice is to share this sense of peace in hope that it will ease the fear of aging and death for others.

Maintenance

So much of living life well is conscious maintenance. Exercise, diet, dental floss, all maintenance. I weed my garden and fertilize. More maintenance. I try to keep up with house cleaning and minor repairs as they arise. Maintenance again. And there is the time for reading and research on the Web. Mental maintenance. There is keeping up with friends. Social maintenance. The key to enjoying life as I age is learning to enjoy the maintenance, as much as possible. It's the old 'enjoying the trip' thing. Letting go of ideals of perfect stasis, or a final perfect destination, is crucial to this enjoyment. Relishing the tasks of daily living becomes less challenging when those tasks are greatly varied. Less boredom. And doing maintenance in steady small steps also helps. I find a calendar and note pad very helpful. When leisure does come, it is all the richer for my maintenance. I see maintenance as part of my daily practice.

Respect

Density of population places stress on daily human life. The increase of population density in cities occurs gradually, so the people in cities do not always consciously react to the changes. The reaction is more often unconscious and instinctive, ruled by the animal brain. People push on subways and in lines. People cut lines. People exhibit road rage. People beep horns on cars all too eagerly. Pedestrians are justifiably wary of cars rushing through intersections. Sidewalks become difficult to navigate. Tempers grow short. Cordial interaction becomes rare. Is it any wonder that respect is the issue in so many altercations between juveniles, who frequently act out what the society is dealing with unconsciously? It takes special intention to practice respect for others in these crowded times. Respect given is respect gained.

Beauty

Tiny rain drops were clustered on the petals of a new iris in my garden this morning. The beauty of the living plant was unintentional and pure, like the rain water itself. Later in the day I stopped my car at an intersection to allow a pedestrian to cross. The pedestrian, a young man in his twenties, was indeed beautiful. His beauty, however, was so different in my eyes from the beauty of the iris. His eyes held a cruelty. His walk was aggressive. He was very conscious of my eyes on him. I then went to my supermarket on my way home. One of the baggers, a plump and cheerful young man with a severe learning disability, was seated at a long table by the door. "Buy a raffle ticket for the Jimmy Fund. Win five hundred dollars. Everyone's a winner." The Jimmy Fund benefits research on pediatric illnesses. Here in my day was another kind of beauty. It was the unconscious beauty of a person who was being happily himself in the moment, despite considerable barriers to that happiness. It is that beauty to which I aspire in my practice.

Ideology

I am currently reading the autobiography of Venessa Redgrave, actor and activist. I am very impressed with Ms. Redgrave's talent and her boundless enthusiasm for those causes she has embraced in her life. Yet, her subscription to and influence upon ideologies based on social justice require her level of education, intelligence, affluence, notoriety, inherited beauty and hereditary privilege in her art. Ideologies suffer an inevitable corruption by power and affluence of their ideologues. This seems to explain to me why human evolution is so slow and convoluted. The greater the wealth of our species, which has garnered that wealth at the great expense of other species and the planet itself, the more time humans have to devote to thought, philosophy, expansion of the human identity from predator and warrior to nurturer and creator. Ms. Redgrave is an evolutionary icon. She is woman. She is mother. She is artist. She is intellectual. She is activist. The even distribution of human and planetary wealth will someday signal the beginning of a quantum leap in human evolution. Ms. Redgrave is a herald of that ideal. I seek those in life I can both understand and admire. I find reading a necessary part of this practice.

Justice

There is no inherent justice in life. Poetic or otherwise. Justice is the fairness and lawfulness we create as a species from day to day by acts of political and individual will. If love, a deeply felt desire to be kind and compassionate to all beings, is the basis of those day-to-day decisions, then justice will evolve. However, injustice, based in greed, often passes for justice among the human elite of the world. There is never justice in belligerent aggression. There is never justice in denying individuals control over their own bodies and minds. There is never justice in trying to discourage love, kindness, commitment and generosity in human relationships. The just are often those who quietly support and defend the lawful rights of others despite great odds. I seek justice by trying to foster it in myself.

Insanity

The truly insane are incapable of behaving sanely. This is an important realization for those of us in an overcrowded world. There are subtle and less subtle forms of insanity. Some insanity is brought on by the use of mind-bending drugs or too much alcohol. For those less fortunate, insanity is simply a genetic state of being. And, as people live longer and longer, insanity often comes with cerebral aging and deterioration. The best way to test one's own sanity is in the company of truthful and loving friends. Isolation is a path to insanity for most of us. It is the rare person who can weather isolation with a sane mind. I have worked with the insane for many years. I have also been confronted with insanity in my family and in others, with whom I have had various relationships. Insanity breeds fear and cruelty. Sanity is maintained with love and by loving. Once lost, sanity is extremely hard to recover. I strive to maintain my sanity with my daily practice.

Tempo

Life has its tempo. Every life has its pulse, its rhythm. Human being is often out of touch with its individual tempo. So much of seeking evolution is trying to rediscover that tempo which is essential to each of us. Being still and merging with my pulse by allowing myself to be totally focused on that pulse is an amazing practice. The more I stay in touch with my tempo, the more I feel that I am in syncopation with the music of the Universe.

Borders

Borders, like personal boundaries, are products of civilization. Borders define the boundaries of responsibility of government. Government must have defined borders and a defined population of taxpayers to support those things which are considered civilized. Health care, roads, schools, all must be planned in accordance with a defined population and a defined budget, paid by a defined number of taxpaying citizens. There is no free lunch in life. Everything has a physical and definable cost. Even the leisure, required to meditate or to concentrate on science or to study philosophy or to write a poem, entails cost. Food must still be produced. Water must be purified and transported. Electricity must be generated. While some have leisure, others are working to support that leisure. And that work costs. So, to maintain progress in civilization, we must conserve and plan and budget for costs, based on realistic populations, defined by borders. Violating borders is intrusion. It too has a cost, which is unfairly passed on to those who support the infrastructure which is intruded upon. It serves us all well to try to look at the current issues about population and immigration in this practical light. It is wise to avoid being distracted by cries of racism and cultural elitism in this particular instance. These inflammatory words are frequently used by wrong doers to rationalize their irresponsible behavior and to try to unjustly shame those who are trying to be responsible to the law-abiding majority.

Memorials

Memorials are for the living. Not for the dead. The dead do not need memorials.

Evil

Evil is not a vague, abstract, simple moralistic concept. Evil is violence. Evil is mindless hatred. Evil is the decision in any moment to deliberately harm another being. On May 27, Russian police and skinheads chose to be evil by violently attacking peaceful gay/lesbian Russians who were attempting to hold a gay-pride march in Moscow. Marchers were ruthlessly beaten and arrested. The current Pope, a former Nazi supporter, has been in Poland all week. He has been promoting the continuation of his predecessor's evil in that country, where the government has also oppressed free expression by gay/lesbian people in the city of Krakow. Evil is the perversion of laws and democracy to propagate war and the massacre of poor desperate youngsters who seek security by selling their lives to the military establishment. Evil is pretending to be compassionate toward illegal immigrants when, in fact, they are being exploited as the cheapest possible labor by a wealthy and greedy society. Evil is not an abstract concept at all. My practice entails struggling with evil in my life from moment to moment.

Trellis

I am building a small trellis for my patio. Actually, I am building it for red bean vine and morning glory vine, which are impatiently growing by the inch in pots. So, though I was inspired by the practical advantages of the plants' beauty and a privacy barrier between my property and the one next door, I am really working for the plants. They will be able to fulfill their natural urges to climb, produce seeds and propagate their species. Birds and bees will also be well served. (I am hoping for a hummingbird.) What a wonderful illustration of ecology in the human-dominated urban world.

Hair

Hair is dead skin, like fingernails or claws. It grows about half-inch per month. The realization that hair grows at a discernible rate always puts me in touch with my mortality and my body's automatic changes related to age. I cut my own hair. The harvesting of my hair every so often is part of my practice. Cutting my own hair necessitates looking at myself in mirrors. Something I rarely do. I am forced to note the changes in my body in this process. I meditate on the loss of time and tissue as I sweep up the clippings from the bathroom floor. For me, this is a good exercise in being in touch with the reality of my one life's span.

Water

Water is a powerful force. Here in the Northeastern US, we have had an unusual 12 inches of rain in the past week. Water has invaded basements and saturated the land. As industrialized and urban humans, many of us are very alienated from Nature. Water becomes the enemy. The same water that sustains our lives. How strange we are as a species.

Friendship

Friendship is a process. Though we say, "I have a friend who....," friends are not possessions; they are partners in an exchange of support, intimacy and affection. The process of making and keeping friendships requires commitment and generosity of spirit. The rewards are great. Like exercise, maintaining friendships requires sustained effort and yields rewards to your wellbeing commensurate to your investment. I strive in my daily practice to cherish my friendships by nurturing them.

Wanting

The wheel of suffering in this world is fueled by wanting. Yet the ruling world culture, based in Capitalism, is motivated by wanting. As the human species spins more and more toward Capitalist supremacy, it will also spin more and more toward increased suffering. It will be that suffering which will eventually bring down Capitalism. We live on a rock in an atmospheric bubble in a vast and chaotic Universe. If we live responsibly in balance and harmony with the planet, we may indeed evolve to see our species outlive the life of the planet itself. This would be an evolutionary breakthrough of Universal merit. However, if we persist in wanting what we know is harmful to ourselves and our planet, we as a species will most likely regress or perish. Each person can contribute to human evolution by choosing to live in responsible balance through thought and meditation. The ability to do so is what makes us human.

Immigration

Migration is a natural animal process as old as animal species. Yet, human beings always segregate themselves from other animals by proclaiming themselves above the laws of nature and under the rule of human law. The current immigration issues on the planet are symptoms of a natural imbalance in the human population. A significant portion, the vast majority, of the world's humans are poor and ignorant. Yet, the educated and affluent minority occupies cities in countries which have developed educational and social infrastructure. The many wish to live like the few. The few are not capable of living as they live if the many demand to share their infrastructure without bringing any resources to that infrastructure. Therefore, the many are being allowed to invade affluent societies (infrastructures) to work as drones for the few. The few don't realize that the drain on their societies, especially democratic and socialist societies, will inevitably bring down the standard of living in those societies. These are not issues which can be solved by sentimental anecdotes about gardeners and house painters looking for a better life for their (too many) children. These issues can only be solved by the eventual education of the newcomers. This can take a very long time. Centuries. In the meantime, a new Dark Age approaches. If you don't take History's lessons to heart, you will be doomed to repeating those lessons.

Violence

I had the displeasure of viewing Mel Gibson's "Passion of Christ" last evening. I also listened to a story this morning on National Public Radio about the sentimental and commercial issues of civilians in a military town in the South. In both situations, I was appalled by the lack of understanding that violence is the enemy of human progress. Gibson promoted a lascivious orgy of violence with graphic special effects in his idiotic retelling of the Christian myth. These same sobbing patriots in the military-base story are those who promote war and violence which causes their histrionic grief over "our lost loved ones". The problem is the assumption that violence is an acceptable human behavior on a national or individual level. If violence were surgically removed from society by the elimination of guns and weapons, the human species could get on with the work of conscious evolution. And that would be miraculous.

Pruning

I like to prune plants in my garden. In fact, in order to maintain a natural look, I must restrain myself from pruning too precisely and too often. I am not aiming for topiary bunny rabbits. I will leave that to Ms. Stewart. I find pruning satisfying, because I often feel the plants are better for my attention. I feel the act of pruning, during which I caress stems and leaves and dead flowers, is a time of connection with the living beings in my garden, whose lives are so different from mine. I once conversed with a spirit about plants through a medium. Many years ago. The spirit spoke of having lived in one incarnation as a tree for over two hundred years in a forest where he never saw a human being. I have always remembered that conversation and the awe it inspired in me. I know gardeners who are shy of pruning. In my experience, they have been people who are themselves very afraid of loss. I have lost enough to see loss as a part of the cycles of life, along with gain and death. So, pruning is part of my meditative practice, and I am grateful for this chance to be happy in a garden where I belong.

Teachers

Life brings teachers to me regularly. I admit to being on the look-out for them. Recently, I decided to read the memoirs of a deceased British film star, whom I had always regarded with fascination in his films. He wrote four books about his life and several novels. He was also in 60 films. And, though the memoirs were about a very different lifestyle than my own in many ways, I found both a soulmate and a teacher. He quoted Colette at one point. The quotation, paraphrased, went like this: One way of staying young is to continually be astonished by new things encountered in life. This summed up one of his discoveries about his own life. I have taken it in, and I plan to carry it with me. There is so much more to teaching and learning than the classroom or the textbook. Teachers are everywhere. And so are students.

Kindness

Kindness is more than nice words. Kindness is a commitment. Kindness is rooted in patience and generosity of spirit. These are times of false kindness in many respects. Superficial lip-service to politically correct causes is not kindness. It is insincerity. A big lie. Giving individuals the benefit of the doubt is kind. Allowing unkind people to take advantage of you is just plain stupid. Living well entails balancing kindness with wisdom.

Flowers

My new bulb garden is in bloom. I had forgotten how exciting a bulb garden can be. Suspense and wonder, as things come up. The pictures in the catalogue have faded in memory. The planting map is lost in the file cabinet. Every morning I look forward to stepping out onto my stoop, two feet above the garden. I peer through the lattice of the small front porch. Anything new? These days the answer is always "yes". I open the picket fence's gate and step onto the paving stones I laid in late Summer. Hyacinths (grape and miniature), tulips, Grecian wild flowers, daffodils, crocus. I confess to having planted the bulbs a bit too neatly. My pattern is all too obvious, but I am very happy with it. My Chinese-American neighbors are tending their jasmine vines and peach tree with heavy doses of lethal insecticide. My neighbor across the lane sits on his stoop to admire the new leaves sprouting on his ornamental dwarf apple. Spring is bringing us out and bringing us together. And the flowers, always shining and always dying at the same time, bring us a common joy.

Lapses

I have come back today from a place far removed from writing and meditation. I was immersed for several days in what most people call day-to-day life. Funny how short the days seem in that frame of existence. They whiz by. Nights become dreamless blanks as the weary body repairs and reboots. I prefer the usual practiced pace of my life. It is very difficult to stay on the middle path without writing and meditation. I realize that the middle path is easily overlooked by those on the fast path of material life. It is part of my practice to try to point out the middle path to those who may have overlooked it.

Community

Community is an elusive thing here in car-dependent America. Community used to be somewhat interchangeable with neighborhood as a concept. Not now. I begin to see my role in a community here where I moved one year ago. I am having routine and regular interactions with members of the neighborhood. There are my fellow walkers, who stroll around every day, as I do. Gradually, looks of recognition are exchanged with smiles and simple salutations. The neighbors across the lane, an elderly woman and her bachelor son, are part of most of my days in some form. One police officer, who often patrols my neighborhood in a car, frequently waves. My mailman and I have regular encounters which are quite jovial. The Russian immigrants down the lane have become quite vocally friendly. Initially, they were very wary. Community isn't like a club you just join when you enter a neighborhood near a major city as a middle-aged man, living alone. There have been no welcome wagons. It is part of my practice to seek community as a method to maintain my compassion for and mindfulness of those around me.

Writing

Writing has been an important activity in my life. I write lists, which are crucial in my efforts to remain productive and organized. I write ideas down as they come, if I'm near paper and pen. I haven't entered the realm of the Blackberry. I have written 5 novels and scores of short stories and essays. I've written poetry, but I will be the first to admit it is not my form. The process of writing, of externalizing feelings and ideas, is uniquely human behavior. I believe a person's level of maturity is easily discerned in his/her writing. Yet, writing is in balance with experience in my world. Sometimes my need to experience life, mundane as it is most of the time for me, supersedes my need or capacity to write. I am confident I will return to writing when this happens. Writing has become a part of my practice. Through it, I often return to mindfulness from a place of distraction.

Space

I have been working with the space in my home. I have an acute awareness of space and dimension. This awareness has increased with my practice. I do not like wasted space. I have also tried to avoid being wasted space in my own life. Awareness of the value of personal space is associated with mindfulness. Living in chaos makes mindfulness much more difficult. Maintenance of personal space, the personal environment, is an external practice which parallels maintenance of internal, psychological environment. Japanese Buddhism has a famous saying, "Person (and) environment (are) one." My practice includes routines of clearing my environment and keeping it clean and organized. I truly feel this part of my practice enhances my personal evolution.

Work

I recently watched a report by CBS-TV on the new American work ethic, as practiced by young entrepreneurial and mass-educated Americans. The workers interviewed were proudly proclaiming their seven-day work week and ten-hour work days. "I love what I do, " beamed one young woman, with the look of a trauma victim. And she is a willing victim. Human societies have evolved for centuries to the point of allowing a significant portion of humanity to have a life with ample time for recreation and personal evolution. In one decade, the corporate Fascist leadership of America has sabotaged that progress by indoctrinating the younger population to believe that they must sacrifice the leisure which allows for thought, personal growth and idealism. The threat of terrorism and the use of war, ancient methods, were used effectively in mass media to this goal. Now these automatons are joining ranks with exploited illegal aliens to support a wealthy and bloated upper class, which lives in total leisure and materialistic hedonism. The work of greed is never over. The work of living well with consciousness is over all too soon.

Lawfulness

Buddhist teachings shy away from politics. This is perhaps related to the Buddha's own absence of political discrimination. He accepted hospitality from wealthy patrons, despite their politics. In fact, his last regal host is suspected of poisoning him to death. My practice has always been wedded to my sense of being a lawful and ethical citizen, despite the challenges. As a gay man, I have been the subject of unjust laws. I have also encountered the unjust enforcement of laws by unethical policemen who have used the law as a way of bullying gay men. Despite the lawlessness of some, I have sustained my belief in the value of law in society. For example, I believe that coming illegally into a country and using the benefits paid for by law-abiding citizens of that country is just simply wrong and lawless. I admire those who remain in their native countries and strive to create lawful and fair societies there. How else will lawful and peaceful societies grow and flourish?

Hair

I cut my own hair. It's a long story, but I do. Cutting my hair is rather routine. I've been doing it for decades. Cleaning up after cutting my hair is always a contemplative experience. Hair clippings are extremely resistant to being collected and disposed of. So, molecules of my own DNA are still in the nooks and crannies of every place I've lived. Hair grows about one half inch per month. Seeing a pile of something I've grown unconsciously on my own body always fascinates me. Hair is dead skin. My hair has been many different shades of color over the decades. It is now shot through with white hairs, though overall still a light brown with russet tones. My hair grows thicker on some parts of my head. Cutting my hair reminds me that I am an animal, a biologically aging and changing being. Awareness of the emotional baggage associated with my hair also allows me to challenge my attachment to my appearance and my own resistance to change. Learning to cut my own hair as a routine practice, a chore, has helped me take responsibility for myself in a very basic way. I am the keeper of this body in specific and deliberate ways. And cutting my hair is teaching me in small increments how to let go of my body, which will some day cease to be.

Snake

Yesterday morning, a garter snake lounged in a loose bundle under a leaf of a lily plant in my garden. The snake had chosen the brightest corner of the small garden plot. It stayed there all morning, despite my tidying up around it. I am about as uncomfortable with snakes as the next human, but I felt honored by this snake's choice of my newly blooming flower bed. And I sincerely hope it stays nearby all season. There are many insects to be eaten. I realize my practice has helped me to appreciate life on small scale. That appreciation is its own reward and has its own special kind of healing power.

Crocus

A yellow crocus blossom opened in my garden today. It was very small and quite timid, since the morning was brisk and gray. As my life ripens to its conclusion, I find that these small signs of the planet's life affect me more profoundly each season. In these small plants, I see my own lifespan in accelerated miniature. The sheer brevity of life is so obvious. Its beauty is so fleeting. Its end so unavoidable and final. I am looking forward to watching my garden. It will continue to teach me many things. It is part of my practice to learn from every experience of my being in every moment of mindfulness.

Squirrels

A squirrel ate one of my prized Spring bulbs yesterday. I was quite put out. In my Buddhist mind, I know I did not really possess the bulb or the soil it is in. The bulb had a life of its own. The soil was there before I was born and will be there after I am dead. The squirrel lives in a natural universe, where ownership outside his own little nest of leaves is meaningless. Food is scarce or plentiful. When it's scarce, he may have to eat sprouting tulip bulbs. No biggie. But, in my materialistic mind, the mind overtaken by desire and fear of loss, I dream of squirrel burgers.

Spring

The word "Spring" evokes a light and joyful feeling when I consider it through most of the solar year. The reality is that Spring comes very slowly in New England, especially along the coast. So Spring brings impatience as well as expectation of more comfortable temperatures. This isn't different from many things in life. In poverty, wealth seems magical and endlessly empowering. In youth, maturity seems liberating. In maturity, youth seems glorious and carefree. Walking the Middle Path entails being mindful of all these nuances in life as it is lived in the moment. In other words, from a perspective of a peaceful mind, both subjectively aware and objectively aware, the Universe can be experienced fully to the benefit of human evolution.

Iraq

You can bomb a people into submission but you cannot bomb them into loving one another. Religion is the poison. Sham democracy, enforced by equally religious ideologues, will never be the antidote. Peace, personal and environmental, is a goal of my practice. However, social peace can only exist where all the members in a society are seeking peace.

Pace

The pace of life in an urban civilization can be hectic and distracting. Mastering the pace of my life is necessary for my practice. When I allow the pace of my life to be hurried by external pressures, my quality of life is lessened. Learning to do things in smaller stages often gets things done with better results. This is the beauty of learning to multi-task, if you can also learn to not try to do too many tasks at once. Practice helps me to estimate the best pace for me in daily life. Routines of contemplation, mental and physical exercise and adequate rest are essential components of my practice.

Fatigue

Those of you who have health cannot comprehend the effects of fatigue as a chronic condition. I am happy for you in this. Use your energy well and wisely. I have had baseline fatigue for eleven years due to a chronic debilitating disease. I am not immobilized or noticeably impeded. I have tried very hard to compensate for my fatigue by adhering to a regular program of structure and activity. I have also prodded myself to remain engaged in general commerce of day-to-day life in a capitalist society. I am self-sufficient, and I occasionally can lend what little surplus energy I have to the causes of others. This is all part of my practice, of course. Fatigue can only be mastered by continued effort. Just as evil, in a non-religious sense, can only be mastered by choosing the right path. Gravity, like evil, simply is. Resisting gravity is part of what it means to be alive. Resisting evil is part of what it means to practice.

Self

Who am I really? Trying to comprehend all that is being who I am is very difficult. And, even if I approach the totality of who I am, I am changed and am becoming another I before I can grasp it. My practice seeks an enlightenment, a freedom to be everything and nothing.

Altars

I recently changed some things in my living room. A modest statue of Amidha Buddha ended up on a pedestal in a corner of the room in front of a simple Japanese screen. (Facing east by pure happenstance.) I placed two displaced brass candlesticks with candles on the pedestal at the base of the statue. I have a thing about symmetry, so they were placed like candlesticks on a Christian altar. Then I went about my business. Later in the day, the candles irked me. I removed them. It occurred to me that I was averse to the altar-like appearance of the statue setting. I meditated on this over the next day. And that was it! It came to me. The messages of the great and profound are so purely good and right. The construction of altars to those wonders of humanity is the root of all corruption of their messages. Few devoted students, monks, priests can extract the truth from the ritual as the ritual dominates over time. Allowing my consciousness, my mindfulness, to be my workbench, or altar, of spiritual and psychological growth is a at the core of my practice.

Furniture

I sold my dining room set. It was just too large for the enclosed porch which has become my dining room in my new place. I suddenly had the experience of two sides of change and loss. I began fussing over filling the newly emptied space after the furniture was removed. I was horrified to admit to myself I missed the furniture and the way the room had been. Such petty attachment. Then I just emptied the space completely, took down the few pictures and the curtains. Suddenly I reveled in the emptiness of the room. I had gained space which I can now use creatively and enjoy redesigning. I enjoyed cleaning the room without obstructions. I may even paint it a different color. My practice makes it easier to embrace and enjoy change.

Commerce

Isn't it interesting that the religious movement which invented socialism is now the tool of rabid capitalists in America? Commerce once entailed the trading of goods and skills between equals. It was a truly democratic, perhaps even anarchic, occupation which supported whole civilizations throughout human history. Capitalism kills commerce in this egalitarian form. It pushes corporations to monopoly and the control of goods and prices, determined by greed, not supply and demand. My practice does not exclude commerce. Treating people fairly in transactions involving goods and money is part of practice. Trade as communication, dialogue and human cooperation facilitates human evolution and the common wealth.