Inertia

The human brain has its own form of inertia. This inertia seems to increase with material comfort and affluence. It leads to conservatism in most who follow that path.

Hunger combats human inertia. The hunger for knowledge, the hunger for food, the hunger for human affection. These are motivators for human change, human progress. Intentional use of hunger is a powerful tool, used for centuries by those who have sought enlightenment and freedom from desire. Hermits isolated themselves from human companionship to produce a hunger for human interaction. The silence of cloisters produced a hunger for human speech and conversation. Yogis fast to liberate themselves from the distractions of metabolism.

How do you overcome your inertia? Do you even try? The seduction of routine consumption of food, alcohol, and entertainment is ever present in American life. Those who have grown rich by glutting America with consumables now try to steer its government to allow for even more exploitation of the consumers' addiction and greed. Cheaper fast food. More drugs. Less need for mobility. More bad television and distracting gadgets.

Overcoming mental and physical inertia is part of my personal practice. As I age, this requires more and more effort and mindfulness. A rigorous exercise regime is necessary. A strict adherence to a healthy diet is necessary. Daily morning commitment to make each day a day of progress, not stasis. Inertia is easy. Practicing the art of being the most growthful person I can be is difficult.

Culture

The current infatuation with multiple cultures in America seems enlightened on the surface. However, it is important to bear in mind that cultures often stand in the way of greater human progress. Idolizing a culture without a critical and analytical eye is childishly naive.

I was aghast yesterday as I listened to an NPR quiz show. The guest celebrity was a rap singer who was overtly and unabashedly bragging about his American subculture of violence, robbery and drug abuse. The audience seemed to find this quite humorous. I found it disturbing and symptomatic of a sick society.

Similarly, the recent fascination in America with Islamic cultures seems a natural reaction to being aggressively attacked on September 11th, 2001 by a wealthy Saudi madman and his minions. However, the equivocation of cultures which behead women for adultery and hang young men for being gay to American culture is just plain stupid. Many Americans seem unable to take the critical step to investigate a culture's full spectrum of positive and negative traits. I speculate that this is based in intellectual laziness or a delusion that smiling at everything about a culture will keep people from that culture from creating mayhem.

Human cultural development follows patterns which can be readily discerned by studying history critically and analytically. This implies the use of science, a foreign culture indeed for many contemporary Americans, it seems. Science isn't about being blissfully ignorant. It isn't about denying the unpleasant in hopes that it will go away.

Multiculturalism in America can serve a wonderful purpose to enrich the greater American culture. However, the present approach media and politicians are taking toward multiculturalism is shallow and inane, generally. Blanket acceptance of any culture as "great" or "cool" is counterproductive. Fostering the elements of any culture which advance universal human rights and world peace is common sense. Learning the difference takes time, study and openness to truth.

Doubt

When in doubt, go to where the love is.

Routine

Addressing problems or self-improvement in life is often seen as a matter of self discipline. Most people bristle at the thought of discipline. It implies control by another or punishment.

I see two main ingredients for self improvement of any kind: Commitment and routine. First, I know I must commit to a goal before making any headway at all. I will do this. It is very important to first look truthfully and realistically at any personal goal. Can I do this? Do I have to step back a bit and approach this in increments? Should I start with humbler goals first and work up to the greater goal?

Once committed to a realistic goal, routine is key. Studies in treating addiction and other disease have proven conclusively that basic daily routines can make to difference between treatment success and treatment failure. Routines can be changed as needed, but consistency in approaching any goal is helpful and effective.

The most crucial part of any daily routine is setting a consistent wake-up time and regimen. How you re-enter consciousness from sleep can determine the attitude you take into your day. For example, if you do not wake naturally in the morning, setting a quiet alarm or music for the same time every morning allows you to slowly re-enter consciousness. Stretching, while still on the bed, is helpful to relax and align your body before standing up. A period of stretching, yoga or other exercise before eating or drinking anything is helpful to activate your metabolism. It also eliminates cravings for too much caffeine to alert the body into action. Getting an inexpensive yoga mat makes this process comfortable and doable anywhere.

Once fully awake, I recommend allotting some time to organize the day. I use running lists, lists which I edit each day as I accomplish items on it. There is no activity too mundane for my list. This keeps the nagging minutia of life from falling through the cracks of daily demands and contingencies. My list helps me to get the most basic and important things done efficiently. This allows time for spontaneous activity with the relaxation that comes from knowing that necessities are being attended to.

At the end of each day, I recommend taking a short time to do an inventory of the day's successes and failures. The list is updated. The priorities for tomorrow are set. Some form of relaxation before going to bed is extremely helpful. Gentle stretching and simple deep breathing while clearing the mind are very conducive to falling asleep in a relaxed state. This facilitates going into a deeper and sounder sleep.

These routines are forms of self-loving and self-nurturing. If you take the time to display kindness and gentleness to yourself, you build habits which positively effect your behaviors towards others. Spoiling yourself with hedonist compensation while routinely abusing yourself is not the way to self-development. It is addictive behavior. Beginning a healthy routine tomorrow can be the beginning of a beautiful relationship...with your own body and mind.

Violence

Violence begets violence. To indulge in violence for entertainment or aggression brings violence in return. The true tragedy of September 11, 2001 is the failure of most Americans to see their hands in creating the atmosphere for that horrific act. America's history of aggression and support of violence, since World War II especially, in the name of capitalist ideology is at the root of the hatred against it around the world.

American culture is violent. High murder rates, gang violence, domestic violence, violent media. These plague American culture. Yet many continue to iconize violence for profit. The film industry, the computer gaming industry and professional sports are vendors of violence for profit.

Violence porpogates more violence. A personal practice of peace eliminates violence from the seeker's life. Violent speech and fascination with violence are as corrupting as violent behavior. Striving for personal growth and peace for many begins with channeling impulses to be violent into conscious intentions to promote peace in all situations, moment by moment.

Love

It is tempting to equate love with sentiment. Who doesn't enjoy infatuation and sexual titillation, once these drugs are discovered during adolescent hormonal rushes? But, I have grown to see love as behavior, as a process, as a growing entity with its own life.

I believe sustaining love is planted and tended like a tree by those who love. The seed of love can be sex, sentiment, blood relationship. The sapling of love is the early discovery that comes with time and shared experience. The tree of love is the pruned and shaped understanding and dialogue which can withstand drought and storm. The fruit of love is the sense of belonging with another who knows and accepts your deepest truth.

Love is supported by commitment. It can be accelerated by sex. It is fed by communication. It is strengthened by ongoing affection. Learning to love one person deeply and completely opens the heart and mind to loving the world. Never experiencing deep love leads to mental illness and alienation from the world.

The greatest challenge of love for some is letting it into their lives. Money, role, material success and possessions are common barriers against loving and being loved. Loving requires vulnerability and sacrifice of some boundaries and barriers. It also requires the personal confidence and self-understanding to remain a whole individual while loving another completely.

Like a healthy forest, a full life contains loves of many varieties and levels of maturity. Love can be contained within a simple interaction on the street, a sprouted seed which does not grow but has life and value. Certain relationships may remain contained by business or other boundaries. The love in these relationships can grow like an elegant dwarfed bonsai, shaped by more formal manners and behaviors. Love in other relationships takes root and grows wildly from sexual passion into an ever-changing canopy of shared experience and understanding. These tall trees of long relationships lend shade and protection to new loves, planted in our lives.

The art of loving is practiced with the mind as well as with emotion. Loving is intentional behavior. Communication os essential to developing mindful love between human beings. The communication of words and the communication of physical affection have equal power. I believe any practice for human growth entails practicing the art of loving.

Rain

The rain is pelting down here in Boston today. Torrential rain. This is a new type of rain for New England. We are suddenly subject to downpours more typical of climates south of us. Flooding and emergent home repairs result.

Ignoring the deterioration of the atmosphere, due to fossil fuel usage by too many human beings in this enclosed ecosystem of Earth, this bubble of air, water and life in a dry, cold universe, is doing nothing to reverse this trend. The damage that is already done will plague the inhabitants of Earth of decades ahead, even if we begin drastic measures today to halt the environmental changes.

The apparent flaw in human evolution is the frontal lobe's ability to work against the best interests of the human organism. The destractibility and abstraction of the human brain diverts the focus of existence from the essential to the idealized, the imagined. So, the organ in the human body responsible for the advancement of human age and quality of life in the short term may undermine human prosperity in the long run.

This makes me appreciate the tidal nature of existence. There is balance in a closed system. One positive balanced by one negative. Yin and yang. Light and dark. Every gain brings its corresponding loss.

Generosity

The celebrity culture in America has fostered an unrealistic concept of what it means to be a generous, compassionate person in society. Warren Buffett and Bill Gates are lauded as models of humanitarian philanthropy. Howard Hughes designed the model that billionaires follow. The medical Howard Hughes Foundation, appropriately founded by the psychosomatic, germ-phobic eccentric, was Howard's solution to avoiding paying personal income taxes. By placing his millions in a tax-exempt non-profit, Howard paid negligible personal taxes while he was alive.

If every citizen paid his/her taxes fairly and equitably, government could be transformed into a prospering organ for improving the quality of life for all citizens. If tax breaks for corporations and businesses were eliminated universally, the people would benefit. Corporate lawyers have developed slick machinery to rip off the public treasury over and over again with very little given back to the public and profits given to wealthy shareholders, who have lawyers to help them to avoid paying taxes.

Bringing generosity into the individual life is a matter of scale and common sense. Generosity isn't money or gifts. Generosity is a process of openness, fairness and spontaneous cooperation. Look around you right now. There is someone in your life who can benefit from your time or effort in some small way today. If you do this survey of your own life every day, you will find plenty to do to improve the quality of life in your own sphere of influence. You can change someone's life right now with a phone call or some generous action.

Our society is troubled. The economic times are difficult in part due to the selfishness and carelessness of people in the world of finance who thought of nobody but themselves. Our media has indulged the worst of us by focusing on violence and dysfunction in order to satisfy our curiosity and voyeurism. Negativity and alienation have blossomed. Staring at iPhones in public is the norm.

I try to acknowledge what I can do every day to improve the quality of my own life and the lives which touch mine. My capabilities require a small scale of generosity. I am not wealthy. I have some physical limitations. I accept these limits and move on with what I can do, without getting hung up on what I would ideally like to do or should do from a comparative perspective.

By planning carefully and using my time responsibly and efficiently, I am able to do something proactive and constructive most days. It doesn't leave much time for watching TV or staring at the computer monitor's buffet of distractions. I don't own an iPhone. It would take time away from my reading books, observing real life around me or helping a friend. My scale of generosity is humble indeed, but I take comfort in knowing that there are millions of people trying to do good in a similar way. My guess is that we are keeping the planet moving along in a positive direction just as effectively as Bill Gates and Warren Buffett.

Attitude

Attitude, the outward demeanor with which we face the world, shapes our world. In Nichiren Shoshu Buddhism, a Medieval Japanese Buddhism based on the teachings of the Lotus Sutra, two precepts apply. First, the law of cause and effect. Second, man and his environment are one.

The way I approach the world is the cause. The effect is the result of that approach. In Biblical terms, I reap what I sow. My approach to the world creates a personal environment of peace, antipathy, harmony, etc.. Therefore, a person lives in an environment which he is part of and shapes with his attitude. Likewise, a person and his attitude are shaped by the environment which he creates. This is a basic concept of behavioral science.

In American gay culture, "attitude" is a commonly used word. It sometimes implies an edge, a defensiveness on the verge of reactive hostility. It can also describe the dignified pride of a gay person who has affirmed and accepted his sexuality without shame or diffidence. Different attitudes, different human experiences.

Practicing an awareness of human suffering and a commitment to alleviate human suffering when it is encountered in human interactions leads to an attitude adjustment. Acceptance of human commonality in suffering and death leads to an open attitude in social situations. Aggression gives way to humility. Selfishness gives way to generosity. Attitude reveals humanist mindfulness where it exists.

Worship

The day when worship of idols is seen as wishful thinking is at hand. It has come perhaps too late. By waiting for imaginary friends or salvaging aliens to save us from ourselves, the human species has run through the wealth of the planet by overpopulating it and exploiting one another for profit. Now the mighty minority of the wealthy sit in their self-made corners, gated golf courses and high-rise palaces. They fantasize about space colonization and eternal life. They go abroad for plastic surgery in countries where people eat garbage off the streets.

I rejoice in, not worship, my own generous human spirit, shared by my awakened brothers and sisters, who see past the greed, corruption and laziness of personal wealth to a common good. By joining in our right actions and right thoughts, we may start a process of human healing, which in turn could heal the planet. By appealing to the peaceful and good in everyone we meet, we can perhaps overcome the violent and selfish.

Police

This post-911 world has taken us back to a time before the lessons learned during the Viet Nam War era. Now, for example, every soldier is a hero in the media. The Viet Nam War era taught us, however, that front line soldiers are actually socioeconomic pawns. In fact, in an all volunteer army, soldiers are most often the desperately poor who sign away their freedom and ethics for a college education or a meager living as a career soldier.

Another lesson of the Viet Nam War era informed us that police also work for politicians and business interests over the interests of the common citizen. When average citizens protested against racism during the Civil Rights struggle of the 1960s and against war in the late Viet Nam War era and against homophobia in the Gay Liberation struggle of that time, they were brutalized, sprayed with fire hoses and shot by police and/or national guardsmen, called in to back up police. There was absolutely no stated ambivalence on the part of police in their roles at that time. They freely backed injustice and violence over peace and reconciliation.

Today, the general attitude of police in many communities and especially on the state level here in Massachusetts is often entitled, rude and callous. It rivals the notorious behavior of Boston transit employees. This is a reversion to the old days, when police operated like other mafias with secrets kept and injustices performed with impunity. To the average citizen, this confirms popular, perhaps unfounded, suspicions of corruption and low intelligence in police work.

Several members of my family were police officers from the 1940s to the 1990s. Half a century. My own father, a policeman for nearly 40 years, while prone to Right Wing politics himself, was skeptical about the general quality of his fellow policemen. He often observed that the system did not reward the peaceful and the just. It rewarded the aggressive, corrupt and political (manipulative).

As I walk around Boston, I see idle police in police cars. When they see that I am noticing them, they usually shoot me a dirty look. I see police cars idling in front of convenience stores and donut shops, where no apparent criminal activity is afoot. I see people running red lights as I am in a cross walk. I see cars parked illegally on sidewalks and in public park areas. I see mouthy gangs of young people causing public disturbances with skateboards, as they overtly harass pedestrians and drivers.

When I do drive, I have trouble finding a handicap parking space when helping a friend who has a medallion, because cars without handicap medallions from out of state are often parked in handicap spaces. My own neighborhood has permit parking due to limited spaces for residents on the street, and no police enforcement ever occurs, unless the tow companies want to make money on street cleaning days. I see state police tapping away at computers in their air conditioned cars, luxury by any standard, as traffic violators blithely run lights and ignore pedestrians. I also see state troopers standing around construction sites, while no visible work is being done and traffic is being bottled up for no apparent reason.

I see all these things daily, weekly. I also see the outcry in the media when a state trooper falls victim to a work-related injury. Yet, I seldom hear anything about cases of police corruption other than an initial blip. These cases are seldom highlighted or followed up in the press. Who is policing the police? Apparently nobody is.

I also hear the excuse that police budgets have been cut, that there are not enough police. Well, if there are not enough police, why do I see local police and state police taking so many extra details at construction sites? These details take their energy and availability away from the actual work of policing. I may add that police at construction sites do no policing. As an avid pedestrian, I have risked life and limb in construction areas where I have been forced to walk in a busy street without the least care or concern of a policeman staring at me from yards away. In fact, in some instances, I have been yelled at by a detail policeman for practicing my right of way as a pedestrian.

If police want public will for better funding, I suggest they simply start doing a better job. Clean up gang crime. Crack down on drug-dealing taggers and hoodlums in the streets. Enforce traffic and parking laws. Make life safe for pedestrians on city streets. If police present themselves in public as hard-working, engaged citizens in an official capacity, rather than paramilitaries in the employment of politicians and business, they would gain greater respect and participation in law and order from their fellow citizens and taxpayers.

Moralism

Martha Coakley, failed Senatorial candidate and Attorney General of Massachusetts, darling of pseudo-Liberals, has once again shown her true colors as a moralist. Her response to the overly hyped suicide of a psychopathic medical student in jail, pending trial for murdering a prostitute, whom he contacted on Craig's List, is to shut down the adult services on Craig's List, a largely free Web site for consumer-consumer and consumer-provider transactions.

Why attack Craig's List? Well, Ms. Coakley may just be simplistically moralistic. A Carry Nation figure, railing against sex for sale. Or, Ms. Coakley may also be responding to pressure from wealthy commercial interests who resent the power of Craig's List and other on-line vendors, now significantly cutting into their sales in a depressed consumer economy. Pure speculation on my part.

Ms. Coakley, while ostensibly supporting LGBT marriage rights, has been clear in representing herself as a conservative moralist in the case of Craig's List. Under her supervision, Craig's List has been pressured to compromise user confidentiality in order to cooperate with the (morality) police on their site. This may have been part of her poor showing in her battle with Scott Brown, a former nude pin-up himself, in the contest for Ted Kennedy's seat. One assumes she thinks gay sex is alright after marriage...only after marriage...just like the other kind.

Rather than proposing a law to legalize prostitution and afford protections to sex workers, which would make them less likely objects of violence and criminal exploitation, Ms. Coakley prefers to assault the freedom of on-line communication, which is, coincidentally, how non-prostitutes often hook up for sex these days. It appears to me that Ms. Coakley is more anti-sex than anti-adult-services. If she succeeds at shutting down the adult services on Craig's List, she may well go after the sexual hook up sections of Craig's List as well, since they do not promote sex in the confines of a marriage, sanctified by God and Government.

The schizoid nature of sexuality in the current American culture is obvious. Alcoholism, meth addiction and HIV/STD transmissions flourish as young people get inebriated to have promiscuous sex behind the scenes, while acting out the public lives of born-again Christians or Shariah Muslims for conformist approval. As someone who believes in the fundamental worth of healthy living to achieve personal peace and mindfulness, I support those laws and social programs which promote a healthy, responsible and active sexuality for adults of any sexual proclivity.

A New Puritanism is not the way. Open discussion of sexuality in schools, combined with thorough sex education, is the way. Perhaps Ms. Coakley could get to work with Governor Patrick and the Massachusetts State Legislature on compulsory sex education in all the Massachusetts schools, public and private, including Catholic schools. Decriminalizing prostitution would eliminate the power of pimps and organized criminals over poor, vulnerable men and women. Cutting off their access to Craig's List will not help these men and women. It punishes them for the crime a privileged male predator committed against one of their own.

Breathing

I have had to learn how to breathe. Breathing deeply and slowly has become a conscious practice for me. I spent the greater part of my life unconsciously focusing tension in my chest, gut and neck muscles. Tightened chest, tightened gut, poor posture, poor breathing. Poor breathing, poor oxygenation to brain and muscle, which leads to more tension and even worse breathing. The result is disease and dysfunction.

Learning to sense tension in your body is a very good health-promoting skill. Taking an inventory occasionally through the day is the key. While sitting in a task chair or walking to work or sitting on the subway, consider your own body's posture and attitude. Straighten the spine with chin up and shoulders back. Inhale deeply. Exhale deeply. Repeat. Feel the change in your body. It will relax. You may even feel a burst of alertness and increased energy, as your brain is oxygenated.

Whenever you can, follow this procedure throughout the day. Stretch your arms and legs. Remember to keep your chin elevated as you look at monitor screens, listen to lectures or carry on conversations. This helps to keep the posture erect with shoulders back.

This activity is a form of meditation. It brings you back within your consciousness of your own life, your own body, which is ultimately all you truly and temporarily possess in life. Mindfulness of your own state of well being or dysfunction is the first step to greater mindfulness. By staying well, you will have energy to practice compassion and generosity to others.

Process

Last evening I was speaking with some people about group process. Basically, process is the journey to any result. It is my belief that the process, if nurtured and utilized for its own value, can exceed the value of the result for its participants.

My personal genetic and environmentally produced, intellectual wiring tends toward the pragmatic, organized and concrete. Goals, destinations, finished products....these are a few of my favorite things. However, my work in psychiatric wards with acutely dysfunctional and impaired patients in crisis several decades ago taught me an important lesson about process and its power.

Here's a simple example. Let's say a small town loses its flagpole on its town square during a wind storm. Its ornate granite foundation was damaged and needs to be rebuilt or replaced. The goal may be to replace it, but let's say the town budget is a mess, and the mayor leaves it to the residents to resurrect the flagpole. Suddenly, the townspeople are entrusted with a community goal without any recent experience at funding and constructing a town monument as a group.

The mayor calls a special town meeting. The turn out is poor, but a committee of volunteers is assembled to address the issue. They agree to meet weekly. It takes several meetings for them all to get to know each other's strengths and specific interests in addressing the issue. One is related to the owner of the hardware store. Another is a contractor, who cannot afford to do the project for free. Another is a pastor of a large congregation in the town. Others have no demonstrable material skills or resources, but they have energy and commitment to help out in whatever way they can.

Eventually, these townspeople get to know each other better by attending weekly flagpole meetings. Most of them look forward to meeting night. It enhances their sense of belonging in the community where they have lived less connected lives for many years. The committee itself becomes a small community in itself.

Soon the townspeople hear about the flagpole committee's plans to actually improve on the old town square through articles about their ideas, written by a committee member in the local paper. The newspaper donates ads for fundraising with ideas about how individual citizens can help out. Some volunteer hands-on services. Others run bake sales. Others set up a town flea market to raise funds for the project. Soon, a larger community of townspeople develops around the flagpole committee.

The flagpole committee publishes three proposed designs for the new town square project in the newspaper, after soliciting ideas from the town in the paper. Townspeople are given a phone number to call with their votes. One design wins by a mile. The buzz about the design selection process has pulled the entire town into the project. The flagpole committee proceeds after funds are secured. It contracts the work. Work on the town square begins and causes some major inconvenience for businesses, pedestrians and drivers, but there is no uproar, because everyone knows what it is about and is interested in seeing the project's completion.

The new town square is rebuilt with its new flagpole at its center. And so is the town, through the process of doing the work. The greatest gain for the town is not the new improved square with its flagpole. The greatest gain is the process of being engaged and involved as a town for a common good.

Injustice

The media in Boston are buzzing about the apparent jail-cell suicide of a suspected psychopath who robbed and murdered a prostitute. This reveals the class prejudice of the media. It also reveals the public obsession with the dysfunctional and destructive elements in society.

The Craig's List Killer, a middle class young man, horrifies and fascinates because our society cannot accept its own class prejudice and discrimination. To accept this would necessitate doing something about it in a true democracy. How could this young, white man, who did everything to follow the conservative path to wealth and success be a monster? The fact is that the current financial crisis was caused by similar conservative, white men who have done everything to achieve wealth and success. They too, in my opinion, are monsters.

The moral provenance of social-economic class is a myth fostered by the minority who rule and pillage society at the expense of the vast majority of people in it. The Craig's List Killer horrifies the privileged because his crime exposes them to the light of critical scrutiny by the masses. Yes, they are just like everyone else. They are not superior beings. They too can produce a sadistic murderer.

Despite this, the wealthy still demand special treatment, even in shameful death. How many deaths in state prisons get the attention of this suicide? The media revels in this fascination with class and dysfunction, but sheds no light on the underlying prejudices and inequalities.

The human condition will not improve until human rights and justice are afforded to all people on a very basic level in society. The provenance of social class, based in material wealth, stands in the way of universal rights and justice. America cannot address this impediment to universal justice as long as it denies its own shallow materialism and class prejudice.

Vulnerability

I recently had a renewed contact with a man, whom I will call Ted. I had an unusual relationship with Ted nearly twenty years ago. I had met his partner in a social situation. His partner and I became intimate friends for a couple of years. Then the partner died of AIDS.

I met Ted when he came to the hospice where I was working. His partner, my friend, came there to die, as one of my patients. Ted visited nearly daily for short periods. I was told he was incapable of caring for our dying friend, even though they had lived together for about ten years. This struck me as odd at the time, because Ted, who was perhaps in his late thirties, seemed healthy and was still working at a high-paying job, which entailed travel. In fact, Ted was a weight-lifter and sported a very muscular physique. He seemed to be socially popular and had many friends.

As a hospice nurse, I had learned that institutional care is better than home care in some circumstances. I simply accepted that this was one such situation. Our dying friend was blind and demented from his disease. He was gentle and childlike. He died in a matter of weeks. I last saw him just hours before his death.

I contacted Ted recently when I saw his ad on line for volunteer help to read to him. Ted too is now blind and lives alone. When I responded to the ad, I revealed who I am and how we had previously known one another. I suggested that I could read for him, if he needed help, as his ad indicated.

Ted's reply stunned me. He said he had no memory of who I had been in his past. His partner, our friend whose memory is still very present to me, had died so long ago, Ted said, that he really doesn't remember much about it. Ted explained that his life had been so busy and active since then. In fact, he had a regular group of readers who read for him. Finally, he said he had several other respondents to his recent ad, but he was willing to consider me as a helper. He recommended that I call him another day. I suppose I may be interviewed and rejected.

This interaction is not unusual to me, as someone who has worked for many years with people in distress and their family systems. Yet, each time it happens I am astounded at the willingness of people to remain invulnerable to intimacy or human connection, even when they themselves are in great distress and need. Their need to be in control trumps their need for mindful intimacy and compassion.

As a male in a society which is violent and alienating much of the time, I have had to struggle with my own resistance to vulnerability. Letting people in is very difficult when you have been conditioned to value self-control over intimacy. Learning to walk the middle path between co-dependency and invulnerability in relationships has been part of my practice in life. It requires mindfulness, compassion and a measure of meditative detachment. The result, I believe, is the development of healthier relationships with other human beings and a healthier relationship with myself.

Incomes

The chart of per capita incomes in the United States by state holds a glaring indicator of the corruption in the Federal government of the U.S. by money. Can you see what I mean?

Slater

"Grab two beers and take the chute," went the lyrics of a humorous song on public radio this morning. Yet another blurb on Stephen Slater, pop-idol-of-the-moment.

What kind of culture looks to burned-out, angry service employees as heroes? The answer is simple: A culture which has allowed its rich to exploit its poor as cheap labor in unsatisfying service jobs with poor support and conditions. Wall Street profits are made off the backs of the Stephen Slaters of the U.S.. And, the American people have yet to connect the dots, since the American media have been bought and dominated by the likes of Ruppert Murdoch.

Sadly, most Americans don't seem to zoom out from the view on their TVs or iPhones. They are caught up in the trends of a fickle news machine which avoids the big issues. Dissent gets framed in terms of harmlessly quirky Tea Party rallies, where racism and guns are often mainstays, the vacant rantings of Sarah Palin and the equally bizarre Rand Paul. Thus the true Left is ignored and devalued entirely. Why? The answer again is simple: The corporations have decided to rule by manipulating existing elements of American society and government. They are playing Devil to the materialistic American Fausts on all levels of society.

As for Stephen Slater, is his behavior itself admirable and laudable? Of course not. It is the infantile, reactive tantrum of someone ill-suited for a particular career. As a retired nurse, I empathize with his frustration and anger at the rudeness of his passengers, but I think his reaction was worthy of arrest and repercussions. He was being paid. His passengers were paying a fee for his services. Tantrums will not change the conditions which caused his meltdown. Admiring tantrums in others is an indication of social illness and an avoidance of the hard work to address the bigger issues, which are very challenging.

Prop 8

I say this to those who continue to fight against the human and civil rights of homosexual people under any rationalization or righteous religious banner. You are bigots and liars.

I am tired of hearing the public pronouncements by homophobic ministers, priests, judges and legislators that they are not anti-gay. Anyone...yes, anyone...who supports depriving gay people of marriage and/or any other civil rights is an anti-gay bigot. And, if he/she then states that he/she does not dislike gay people he/she is a liar. Are we all clear on this now?

Funerals

I attended the Catholic funeral mass for a dear relation yesterday. In the midst of his address to the assembled mourners in the deteriorating, ornate church, the officiating priest put in an obvious plug for the Catholic ritualization of burial. To paraphrase, he said, "We need the incense. We need the altar. We need the flowers. We need the music. We need the prayers.....We come here to be fed."

While I respect and understand the decision of the survivors in this case to have this ritual, I personally could not relate to this advertisement. In fact, I would have felt better if we had all convened and talked... honestly talked...about our lives, the life of the deceased, and what we feel about our own inevitable deaths. I feel that this is what we need as mortal human beings, anticipators and survivors of The Great Common Loss, Death. I believe this process would be healing medicine for the alienation and anxiety many of us feel in today's world.

The Catholic service speaks repeatedly of an afterlife, superior to the life lived. What does this say about the Catholic perspective on the life lived, the only life we have as conscious human beings? Is this a message of support? Is this a message of love? Is this a message of understanding and valuing of a life lived peacefully and lovingly? I say it is not. I also say it belies a basic deficit in Catholic charity, imprisoned in tarnished, antique dogma.

I do not mean this as an attack on Catholicism, despite Catholicism's unrelenting attacks on my integrity and moral equality as a sexually active gay man. Catholicism is not the only religion which has capitalized on unenlightened death rituals to propagate its existence. I simply wish to suggest to anyone who reads this entry that you do not have to grieve through rituals which do not support the wonder of life as it is. You can choose to mourn your losses differently. You can plan your own funeral or memorial service while you are alive to suit how you would like to honor the life you are creating in each moment now. I recommend doing this.

Embracing mortality often entails letting go of delusions of immortality, which are fostered by religions for their own purposes. I say, "Come and be fed by our commonality and mutual love as mortal brothers and sisters who will all die and can choose to live in peace in this moment. Let's work together as long as we are alive to build a wonderful world for those who come after us. Let's take joy in recognizing that better world as our memorial."

Discovery

When you move through life, do you feel whole? Does your sense of self move with you? Does your perception of yourself and your life change with each circumstance you encounter?

Discovering who you really are is perhaps the most valuable and satisfying activity of any life. It is not easy. The mind can be a trickster.

The current prejudice in American society is anti-judgment and anti-analysis. This makes serious investigation of who you really are more difficult. Peer pressure may encourage you to pretend to be whoever you wish to be in any moment. Peer pressure may encourage you to accept your unhealthy obesity or drinking problem. Peer pressure may dissuade you from asserting what you know to be true or just. In some ways, the Facebook society is an extension of high school, not a mature environment, which promotes serious self-discovery.

Knowing yourself requires the dedicated practice of truth-telling. And it starts in front of your mirror. This requires time, patience and courage. Along the way, you may learn self-forgiveness, self-acceptance and the joy of rebuilding yourself in each moment into the person you wish to become.

Brains

Developing mindfulness and compassion requires playing with your brain.

Conscious, intentional lives are the constant interplay of consciousness with brain (thought) and behavior (action). We all awake in adulthood to find we are working with a brain which is used to and preconditioned by our genetics and experience. In every moment, we are faced with the situations of life on a planet, crowded with humankind and complicated by the products of other brains. Our brains are more like racing speed boats without navigation systems than hi-tech ocean liners. The trick is to stay behind the wheel and keep on course.

Many people go through life impulsively, compulsively and reactively. Like players of a video game, they frantically push buttons in their brains to react to situations and people. Most are disappointed in the end by the choices they make. Few face their deaths with a sigh of satisfaction and completion. I know. I have been at hundreds of death beds.

Mastery of your own brain's triggers and patterns is a lifelong process, a practice.

Sobriety, honesty and reflection are necessary tools. Controlling and changing behavior is the first step to mastering the brain. This is the path to proactive living. Indulging impulses and compulsions is the road to disaster. Mindfulness and compassion emerge with understanding and acceptance of one's own mortal humanity.

Death

Death is our great commonality. The more a society flees from death and dying, the less it invests in the common good. The wealthy indulge themselves in delusions of immortality, aided by plastic surgeons and medical gurus. The poor slave away their lives for the rich under the delusion that they will live forever in their children, whose lives might be better.

We are born alone. We die alone. There is no reason to believe in any personal, conscious immortality.

Accepting mortality as the human condition can lead to an awakening. The awakened focuses on the quality of human experience in the moment and the means to improving that quality. The compassionate person, once awakened, strives to bring that quality of his/her experience to others by trying to awaken them.

Stunning surprises, terrible accidents or life-threatening diseases bring this awareness to most. The elderly often awaken a short time before they die. How sad it is to waste a life asleep only to awaken just before death. The wise person accepts his/her mortality and incorporates that acceptance in his/her relationship to the world.

Control

Being balanced, being healthy, being mindful ... all entail control of behavior by applying awareness. Control is a sharp and double-edged sword. It also must be moderated by the mindful brain. Letting go of control is sometimes more beneficial than attempting it. Learning to use control or release it mindfully and intentionally is a first step to liberation, which is a step to enlightenment.

Fundamentalism

I am a fundamentalist.

I believe in the fundamental physicality of the human condition.

I believe we are mammals, animals.

I believe we have basic physical needs for and rights to nutrition, safe housing, cleanliness, sex, love, acceptance, community.

I believe it is right to love one another, to promote peace and to share what we have with each other.

I believe it is wrong to intentionally harm, to kill, to rape, to steal and to promote disharmony by selfishly ignoring the needs of one another in a shared society.

I am a fundamentalist. What are you?

Moore

I consider Michael Moore my soul brother. Last evening, I watched his film, "Capitalism: A Love Story". If you haven't seen the film, I recommend it. If you don't agree with the politics of the film, you will still get a few laughs.

The laughs endear Michael Moore to me. He is the daring fool, the courageous bumbler, on the surface. Inside his down-home, just-another-guy exterior, Michael is truly awake to the truths of the human condition. He is wise, as well as being a wise guy.

For me, Michael's greatest service to humanity in this film is his exposure of the Ronald Reagan presidency as a coup d'etat by Wall Street. Everything political since Reagan's ascendancy in 1980 has been guided by the financiers in New York. This casts a clear light on the motivation behind the attack of September 11, 2001 and the subsequent bristling of the American government into war and internal-spying mode for the last 7 years. The paranoic response of a shadow government to the light of exposure.

The major Hollywood backing for Michael Moore's "Capitalism" confirmed my suspicion that the corruption and control of the government by Wall Street has offended even the most calloused sensibilities in America. Yet, the majority of citizens seem dulled, narcotized. Is it the high obesity rate? Is it the high substance abuse rate? Is it a societal depression? Perhaps it is all of them.

Engagement

So much of being human is being engaged in human community. Human dysfunction often accompanies isolation and withdrawal from the human community. For example, when minorities are marginalized, they become dysfunctional in the greater society. Crime and addiction flourish.

The process of engagement with the society is a two-way process. The society which does not promote public engagement fosters fear and isolation. The aftermath of the 911 attacks is still evident in the urban American environment. People on subways and streets are obviously shy of one another. Here in a tourist city, out-of-towners prowl around in large packs and do not readily interact with strangers.

The cure for isolation is not complicated. A smile, eye contact and a nod on a street or subway usually gains an automatic, human response of recognition. Offering help to someone looking at a map on a street corner doesn't require much time or trouble. Holding a door open for someone behind you is a message of engagement. Each small behavior like these builds a sense of belonging to the world outside your personal environment much more effectively than looking at your Facebook homepage.

Commitment

The virtual acquaintanceship which abounds in a Facebook world is an extension of the real community which once existed on every block or in every neighborhood of cities and towns. That actual community is rare in modern America. As Americans have done with fast food over real food, they now settle for this virtual community over real community.

Why? I think the answer is simple. It's easier. Real relationships require work. Being in touch with an elderly neighbor down the street may entail cutting her lawn or getting her groceries. Knowing a quadriplegic next door may entail washing him and helping him out of bed in the morning when his caregiver is unable to do it.

Community, like all relationships of any substance, requires some commitment. Americans are averse to social commitment. This aversion is obvious in America's refusal to address global warming, urban poverty and other social inequalities in society. This aversion is obvious in the popularity of Tea Party rantings about not paying taxes and its attempts to stoke fires of racism in America. This aversion is obvious in America's persistent willingness to toy with the human rights of LGBTQ people and others.

A healthy community is peaceful and inclusive. This requires a strong commitment by all community members to participate in socially responsible speech and behavior at all times. Are responsible speech and behavior the predominant features of current American society? To its credit, the culture of Facebook is generally cordial and inclusive. Perhaps the Facebook experience, combined with a renewed commitment of neighbors and friends to build and maintain real community, will help us repair our society in time. I certainly hope so.