Lawfulness

Buddhist teachings shy away from politics. This is perhaps related to the Buddha's own absence of political discrimination. He accepted hospitality from wealthy patrons, despite their politics. In fact, his last regal host is suspected of poisoning him to death. My practice has always been wedded to my sense of being a lawful and ethical citizen, despite the challenges. As a gay man, I have been the subject of unjust laws. I have also encountered the unjust enforcement of laws by unethical policemen who have used the law as a way of bullying gay men. Despite the lawlessness of some, I have sustained my belief in the value of law in society. For example, I believe that coming illegally into a country and using the benefits paid for by law-abiding citizens of that country is just simply wrong and lawless. I admire those who remain in their native countries and strive to create lawful and fair societies there. How else will lawful and peaceful societies grow and flourish?

Hair

I cut my own hair. It's a long story, but I do. Cutting my hair is rather routine. I've been doing it for decades. Cleaning up after cutting my hair is always a contemplative experience. Hair clippings are extremely resistant to being collected and disposed of. So, molecules of my own DNA are still in the nooks and crannies of every place I've lived. Hair grows about one half inch per month. Seeing a pile of something I've grown unconsciously on my own body always fascinates me. Hair is dead skin. My hair has been many different shades of color over the decades. It is now shot through with white hairs, though overall still a light brown with russet tones. My hair grows thicker on some parts of my head. Cutting my hair reminds me that I am an animal, a biologically aging and changing being. Awareness of the emotional baggage associated with my hair also allows me to challenge my attachment to my appearance and my own resistance to change. Learning to cut my own hair as a routine practice, a chore, has helped me take responsibility for myself in a very basic way. I am the keeper of this body in specific and deliberate ways. And cutting my hair is teaching me in small increments how to let go of my body, which will some day cease to be.

Snake

Yesterday morning, a garter snake lounged in a loose bundle under a leaf of a lily plant in my garden. The snake had chosen the brightest corner of the small garden plot. It stayed there all morning, despite my tidying up around it. I am about as uncomfortable with snakes as the next human, but I felt honored by this snake's choice of my newly blooming flower bed. And I sincerely hope it stays nearby all season. There are many insects to be eaten. I realize my practice has helped me to appreciate life on small scale. That appreciation is its own reward and has its own special kind of healing power.

Crocus

A yellow crocus blossom opened in my garden today. It was very small and quite timid, since the morning was brisk and gray. As my life ripens to its conclusion, I find that these small signs of the planet's life affect me more profoundly each season. In these small plants, I see my own lifespan in accelerated miniature. The sheer brevity of life is so obvious. Its beauty is so fleeting. Its end so unavoidable and final. I am looking forward to watching my garden. It will continue to teach me many things. It is part of my practice to learn from every experience of my being in every moment of mindfulness.

Squirrels

A squirrel ate one of my prized Spring bulbs yesterday. I was quite put out. In my Buddhist mind, I know I did not really possess the bulb or the soil it is in. The bulb had a life of its own. The soil was there before I was born and will be there after I am dead. The squirrel lives in a natural universe, where ownership outside his own little nest of leaves is meaningless. Food is scarce or plentiful. When it's scarce, he may have to eat sprouting tulip bulbs. No biggie. But, in my materialistic mind, the mind overtaken by desire and fear of loss, I dream of squirrel burgers.

Spring

The word "Spring" evokes a light and joyful feeling when I consider it through most of the solar year. The reality is that Spring comes very slowly in New England, especially along the coast. So Spring brings impatience as well as expectation of more comfortable temperatures. This isn't different from many things in life. In poverty, wealth seems magical and endlessly empowering. In youth, maturity seems liberating. In maturity, youth seems glorious and carefree. Walking the Middle Path entails being mindful of all these nuances in life as it is lived in the moment. In other words, from a perspective of a peaceful mind, both subjectively aware and objectively aware, the Universe can be experienced fully to the benefit of human evolution.

Iraq

You can bomb a people into submission but you cannot bomb them into loving one another. Religion is the poison. Sham democracy, enforced by equally religious ideologues, will never be the antidote. Peace, personal and environmental, is a goal of my practice. However, social peace can only exist where all the members in a society are seeking peace.

Pace

The pace of life in an urban civilization can be hectic and distracting. Mastering the pace of my life is necessary for my practice. When I allow the pace of my life to be hurried by external pressures, my quality of life is lessened. Learning to do things in smaller stages often gets things done with better results. This is the beauty of learning to multi-task, if you can also learn to not try to do too many tasks at once. Practice helps me to estimate the best pace for me in daily life. Routines of contemplation, mental and physical exercise and adequate rest are essential components of my practice.

Fatigue

Those of you who have health cannot comprehend the effects of fatigue as a chronic condition. I am happy for you in this. Use your energy well and wisely. I have had baseline fatigue for eleven years due to a chronic debilitating disease. I am not immobilized or noticeably impeded. I have tried very hard to compensate for my fatigue by adhering to a regular program of structure and activity. I have also prodded myself to remain engaged in general commerce of day-to-day life in a capitalist society. I am self-sufficient, and I occasionally can lend what little surplus energy I have to the causes of others. This is all part of my practice, of course. Fatigue can only be mastered by continued effort. Just as evil, in a non-religious sense, can only be mastered by choosing the right path. Gravity, like evil, simply is. Resisting gravity is part of what it means to be alive. Resisting evil is part of what it means to practice.

Self

Who am I really? Trying to comprehend all that is being who I am is very difficult. And, even if I approach the totality of who I am, I am changed and am becoming another I before I can grasp it. My practice seeks an enlightenment, a freedom to be everything and nothing.

Altars

I recently changed some things in my living room. A modest statue of Amidha Buddha ended up on a pedestal in a corner of the room in front of a simple Japanese screen. (Facing east by pure happenstance.) I placed two displaced brass candlesticks with candles on the pedestal at the base of the statue. I have a thing about symmetry, so they were placed like candlesticks on a Christian altar. Then I went about my business. Later in the day, the candles irked me. I removed them. It occurred to me that I was averse to the altar-like appearance of the statue setting. I meditated on this over the next day. And that was it! It came to me. The messages of the great and profound are so purely good and right. The construction of altars to those wonders of humanity is the root of all corruption of their messages. Few devoted students, monks, priests can extract the truth from the ritual as the ritual dominates over time. Allowing my consciousness, my mindfulness, to be my workbench, or altar, of spiritual and psychological growth is a at the core of my practice.

Furniture

I sold my dining room set. It was just too large for the enclosed porch which has become my dining room in my new place. I suddenly had the experience of two sides of change and loss. I began fussing over filling the newly emptied space after the furniture was removed. I was horrified to admit to myself I missed the furniture and the way the room had been. Such petty attachment. Then I just emptied the space completely, took down the few pictures and the curtains. Suddenly I reveled in the emptiness of the room. I had gained space which I can now use creatively and enjoy redesigning. I enjoyed cleaning the room without obstructions. I may even paint it a different color. My practice makes it easier to embrace and enjoy change.

Commerce

Isn't it interesting that the religious movement which invented socialism is now the tool of rabid capitalists in America? Commerce once entailed the trading of goods and skills between equals. It was a truly democratic, perhaps even anarchic, occupation which supported whole civilizations throughout human history. Capitalism kills commerce in this egalitarian form. It pushes corporations to monopoly and the control of goods and prices, determined by greed, not supply and demand. My practice does not exclude commerce. Treating people fairly in transactions involving goods and money is part of practice. Trade as communication, dialogue and human cooperation facilitates human evolution and the common wealth.