Showing posts with label community. Show all posts
Showing posts with label community. Show all posts

Change

This is my last post on Buddha's Pillow.

My new blog is The Practical Humanist.

The title says it all. I have been working with remarkable people at the Humanist Chaplaincy at Harvard since last year. Greg Epstein, the Humanist Chaplain, has managed to open the first Humanist Student Center on a university campus in the United States this year. Seeing the development of a humanist community at Harvard is the actualization of a dream I have shared with many: The coming together of people for the promoting the greater good without the trappings and divisiveness of religion.

In the spirit of this new Humanism, I have decided to write under a more direct title, one which better describes me and the way I view humanism in my life.

Autumn


In the Northern Hemisphere, we move into Autumn. The arc of the sun shrinks on the horizon. Days shorten. The light becomes sharper on clear, dry days.

It is easy to ignore the turning of the seasons in an urban environment. Our lives, tied to illuminated panels, large and small, are less impacted by the shrinking hours of natural light. The projected world, a transmitted construct of bytes and code, fuses with the natural world in our distracted minds.

Get out. Look around. Breathe deeply. Leave the iPhone at home. Walk (not ride) in the world and look at the houses, the trees, the gardens. Meet the eyes of your neighbors. Stop and talk with someone who is working or sitting in a yard or on a porch.

The time is coming when this activity will be more difficult, less attractive. Take advantage of the season. Be present in your natural environment, whatever and wherever it may be.

Process


Last evening I was speaking with some people about group process. Basically, process is the journey to any result. It is my belief that the process, if nurtured and utilized for its own value, can exceed the value of the result for its participants.

My personal genetic and environmentally produced, intellectual wiring tends toward the pragmatic, organized and concrete. Goals, destinations, finished products....these are a few of my favorite things. However, my work in psychiatric wards with acutely dysfunctional and impaired patients in crisis several decades ago taught me an important lesson about process and its power.

Here's a simple example. Let's say a small town loses its flagpole on its town square during a wind storm. Its ornate granite foundation was damaged and needs to be rebuilt or replaced. The goal may be to replace it, but let's say the town budget is a mess, and the mayor leaves it to the residents to resurrect the flagpole. Suddenly, the townspeople are entrusted with a community goal without any recent experience at funding and constructing a town monument as a group.

The mayor calls a special town meeting. The turn out is poor, but a committee of volunteers is assembled to address the issue. They agree to meet weekly. It takes several meetings for them all to get to know each other's strengths and specific interests in addressing the issue. One is related to the owner of the hardware store. Another is a contractor, who cannot afford to do the project for free. Another is a pastor of a large congregation in the town. Others have no demonstrable material skills or resources, but they have energy and commitment to help out in whatever way they can.

Eventually, these townspeople get to know each other better by attending weekly flagpole meetings. Most of them look forward to meeting night. It enhances their sense of belonging in the community where they have lived less connected lives for many years. The committee itself becomes a small community in itself.

Soon the townspeople hear about the flagpole committee's plans to actually improve on the old town square through articles about their ideas, written by a committee member in the local paper. The newspaper donates ads for fundraising with ideas about how individual citizens can help out. Some volunteer hands-on services. Others run bake sales. Others set up a town flea market to raise funds for the project. Soon, a larger community of townspeople develops around the flagpole committee.

The flagpole committee publishes three proposed designs for the new town square project in the newspaper, after soliciting ideas from the town in the paper. Townspeople are given a phone number to call with their votes. One design wins by a mile. The buzz about the design selection process has pulled the entire town into the project. The flagpole committee proceeds after funds are secured. It contracts the work. Work on the town square begins and causes some major inconvenience for businesses, pedestrians and drivers, but there is no uproar, because everyone knows what it is about and is interested in seeing the project's completion.

The new town square is rebuilt with its new flagpole at its center. And so is the town, through the process of doing the work. The greatest gain for the town is not the new improved square with its flagpole. The greatest gain is the process of being engaged and involved as a town for a common good.

Engagement


So much of being human is being engaged in human community. Human dysfunction often accompanies isolation and withdrawal from the human community. For example, when minorities are marginalized, they become dysfunctional in the greater society. Crime and addiction flourish.

The process of engagement with the society is a two-way process. The society which does not promote public engagement fosters fear and isolation. The aftermath of the 911 attacks is still evident in the urban American environment. People on subways and streets are obviously shy of one another. Here in a tourist city, out-of-towners prowl around in large packs and do not readily interact with strangers.

The cure for isolation is not complicated. A smile, eye contact and a nod on a street or subway usually gains an automatic, human response of recognition. Offering help to someone looking at a map on a street corner doesn't require much time or trouble. Holding a door open for someone behind you is a message of engagement. Each small behavior like these builds a sense of belonging to the world outside your personal environment much more effectively than looking at your Facebook homepage.

Commitment


The virtual acquaintanceship which abounds in a Facebook world is an extension of the real community which once existed on every block or in every neighborhood of cities and towns. That actual community is rare in modern America. As Americans have done with fast food over real food, they now settle for this virtual community over real community.

Why? I think the answer is simple. It's easier. Real relationships require work. Being in touch with an elderly neighbor down the street may entail cutting her lawn or getting her groceries. Knowing a quadriplegic next door may entail washing him and helping him out of bed in the morning when his caregiver is unable to do it.

Community, like all relationships of any substance, requires some commitment. Americans are averse to social commitment. This aversion is obvious in America's refusal to address global warming, urban poverty and other social inequalities in society. This aversion is obvious in the popularity of Tea Party rantings about not paying taxes and its attempts to stoke fires of racism in America. This aversion is obvious in America's persistent willingness to toy with the human rights of LGBTQ people and others.

A healthy community is peaceful and inclusive. This requires a strong commitment by all community members to participate in socially responsible speech and behavior at all times. Are responsible speech and behavior the predominant features of current American society? To its credit, the culture of Facebook is generally cordial and inclusive. Perhaps the Facebook experience, combined with a renewed commitment of neighbors and friends to build and maintain real community, will help us repair our society in time. I certainly hope so.

Television


I stopped watching commercial television (television with commercial interruptions) decades ago. When I made the decision, I had just attended a short presentation by a renowned psychiatrist at McLean Hospital. The presenter had made a compelling argument that television, especially violent television with commercials, is psychologically toxic. I happen to think he was on to something.

Recently, there has been media promotion of the endings of two commercial television programs, Lost and 24. I know little about either show. As an objective observer of the hype, I have to speculate that these shows have touched an unsettling emotional current in American culture. Lost is a show about existential angst, wrapped in surreal mysticism. 24 is a show about spies, government corruption and terror.

Those who dream their way through life by attaching themselves to public, fictional narratives, designed to sell cars or iPhones, are bound to be insecure and ill-equipped to deal with reality. The reality of their own lives has no relevance to the television or media dream. The attempt to conform or relate ones life to these two-dimensional realities is simply unhealthy.

I find it particularly troubling when these entertainment vehicles become the grist of human relationships. Lost and 24 fan groups abounded with tearful last episode parties. Similarly, some people built their lives around Survivor. Couch potatoes, working their way to obesity with fake-buttered, microwave popcorn, while fixated on buffed strangers on tropical islands; the worst of voyeurism, combined with extremely soft pornography.

Stepping away from the television and out of your home into your real community is healthy. It is good for you and your community. Walk your neighborhood and say hello to people. Patronize a local, non-chain cafe. Be a regular at a local library or book store. Volunteer at a local nursing home or hospital. You'll soon find that you will have no time to watch the latest TV craze. Your own life will be its own, fascinating narrative with a cast of real-life characters.

Responsibility


The crux of any personal practice for good is taking responsibility for oneself and one's actions in the context of society and community.

The current libertarian movements in the U.S., which tend toward survivalist individualism, miss the reality that human beings are social animals by nature and evolution. Their motivation, as I see it, is based in gun possession and personal wealth, unimpeded by taxes and regulation. This seems more than a little regressive.

Responsibility to the community and society is the basis of civilization. Taxes are a crucial part of maintaining that civilization and its life-improving benefits. No matter how inefficient or corrupt government may be, the maintenance of infrastructure, public health and education must still be supported by the public for civilization to progress.

If those who despise corruption and 'big government' focused their rage on improving the quality of social programs by improving the tax and regulatory codes instead of ranting against the very programs which will improve their quality of life, then we can move as united citizens to improve our country for everyone.

Community


I live in a densely settled neighborhood near a large metropolis. I was born into this type of living. I grew up in a densely populated small city next to Boston. My first memories are set in an apartment in an old, three-unit tenement building. My first playground was the street.

One of the side effects of the increasingly mobile American culture is the loss of bedrock populations in neighborhoods. In my own city, the transition in every neighborhood is visible and palpable. I walk quite a bit around the city and witness the constant changes. My city is mostly populated by people of low-to-middle incomes. The ripples of immigration are touching many neighborhoods as well. This was true of my native city in my childhood. I am familiar with it.

Despite all the benefits of diversity and mobility, the losses are also considerable. Change is never all good or all bad. It simply is.

My particular neighborhood has a scattered, diminishing long-term population, bound to it by socioeconomics largely. The poorer sons and daughters of original homeowners have stayed in their humble family homes, attached English-style townhomes in four-or-five-house rows. Because the houses are at the low end of price for my city, new immigrants have often bought or rented when houses come on the market.

The older residents all know each other. They have had their bonds and their feuds over the decades. There are cliches of old women who know each other for various reasons, such as shared church or club. The general attitude of these older residents towards new ones is cool, reserved observation. It takes some effort to get them to say "hello".

The newer residents, mostly foreign-born, stay to themselves. A few have developed curbside relationships based on shared nationality or ethnicity. Those of us who are American-born and new to the neighborhood manage to connect randomly with a neighbor here or there, but the reserve of old to new never quite melts.

Some may say this is a Bostonian or New England phenomenon. Bostonians have a repuation of being reserved. New Englanders have a reputation of being parochial. However, I feel this is more than that. I think this is genuine culture shock. And, I think this in part accounts for the current extremes of anger at the political process in the United States. After all, who is screaming loudest? Those who are screaming loudest are those who live in cities like mine, which voted overwhelmingly for Tea-Party-sponsored Scott Brown for the U.S. Senate after decades of being centrist Democrat.

The price of change is often discomfort and anxiety. Without a concerted effort, led by government in many cases, building community from isolated populations can take decades. And, how can the government build community when there is an absolute phobia in the U.S. about 'socialism'? This is a symptom of the absolute failure of the government to take control of immigration policy, and its failure to compensate American cities for its effects on public education, infrastructure and civic planning.

The key issue of immigration, in my opinion, is not legality or illegality. The key issue is community. If community is valued and fostered by government policy on local and national levels, the negative side effects of immigration can be minimized.

However, in the current exploitive political climate, dominated by corporate profit motives and tax avoidance, this is impossible. The wealthy interests in this country are obviously willing to sacrifice the community fiber, the social fiber, of the country to maintain their greedy accumulation of wealth. Wealth accumulation is the actual religion of our time. And, the gated community, the refuge of the wealthy, is the proof of it.

Society

A society cannot exist functionally as a factionalized collection of diverse cultures, languages and classes. The American liberal ideal of diversity and multiculturalism cannot be achieved when the various groups in the society refuse to acculturate or subscribe to a common culture, which supersedes other cultural prejudices and traditions. I am currently experiencing the negative effects of a neighbor's racism and refusal to acculturate and comply with established American codes of behavior. The neighbor, who is foreign-born, refuses to step out from a very basic alienating defense, based in language and race. He resists friendship. He acts autonomously in the way he behaves on his property, which adjoins the property of others. He does not feel responsible to his neighborhood in any way, and he makes this quite clear. He represents, in my way of thinking, what is wrong with the current American tolerance of dysfunctional immigrant behavior. Our leaders, the rich and powerful, obsess on terrorism from abroad because they do not live among the uncultured immigrants who populate America's working class neighborhoods. They fail to realize that the actual threat to the best of American culture, the commonality of purpose and ideals of social harmony, lies in the factionalism caused when immigrants isolate themselves and cling to the less ideal aspects of the cultures from which they originate. While my own practice entails trying to reach out to individuals from diverse backgrounds, I accept that America's decline may come from its lack to venerate its own unique cultural ideals, based in the the much maligned and secular Protestant Ethic of its founders.

Community

Community is an elusive thing here in car-dependent America. Community used to be somewhat interchangeable with neighborhood as a concept. Not now. I begin to see my role in a community here where I moved one year ago. I am having routine and regular interactions with members of the neighborhood. There are my fellow walkers, who stroll around every day, as I do. Gradually, looks of recognition are exchanged with smiles and simple salutations. The neighbors across the lane, an elderly woman and her bachelor son, are part of most of my days in some form. One police officer, who often patrols my neighborhood in a car, frequently waves. My mailman and I have regular encounters which are quite jovial. The Russian immigrants down the lane have become quite vocally friendly. Initially, they were very wary. Community isn't like a club you just join when you enter a neighborhood near a major city as a middle-aged man, living alone. There have been no welcome wagons. It is part of my practice to seek community as a method to maintain my compassion for and mindfulness of those around me.