Courtesy

Courtesy, defined as a courteous (polite;considerate) behavior or act in the OED, is a powerful force. While the pen is mightier than the sword, courtesy is mightier than rudeness or aggression. As American culture emerges from the cloud of rapper thuggery, perhaps common courtesy could heal some of our cultural and philosophical rifts.

The power of common courtesy always amazes me, as a practitioner and recipient of it. Just yesterday, at my gym, which is still deeply immersed in rapper thuggery at times, the manager, usually grumpy and gruff, turned a corner as I did and said, "Hello, sir, how are you today?"as he passed me. Usually he ignores my customary nod and grin. In fact, he has snorted in response to it on occasion.

The effect of his courtesy was immediate. I felt more relaxed. The gym, which usually feels like a challenging mine field, seemed much more welcoming and benign for a while. A gang of rough young men soon obliterated the momentary glow, but a small incremental softening of the environment by the manager endured for me.

Subways, retail stores and elevators in the urban environment are fertile fields for common courtesy. Sowing the seed of polite, direct interactions with complete strangers in potentially hostile environments is very empowering. Eye contact and a smile, followed by a polite word or gesture, does the trick. Try it. You will see for yourself and reap the benefits.

Socialism

As I look at the current culture here in the U.S., I wonder if all the hyperactivity I see is a symptom of unmedicated or overmedicated anxiety and/or depression. The obsessive use of smart phones in public by a growing percentage of Americans is disturbing to me as a former psychiatric nurse. I see self-imposed social isolation in the midst of crowds everywhere. It looks like self-imposed autism.

I ride the subway frequently. Subways are marvelous, random microscopes for the scientific and observant. I study my subway cars. I would estimate that, on average, approximately 20-30% of passengers busy themselves with smart phones without eye contact or apparent engagement in their environment. On the posher spans, through wealthier communities, I would up that estimate to 30-50%.

In poorer communities along the subway lines, single passengers who are not focused on their smart phones usually stare blankly ahead and avoid all eye contact with other passengers. Disabled and elderly passengers in the aisles are ignored or buffeted by passengers as they push in or out of the train. In wealthier communities, groups of passengers take over sections of the train car. Often they sprawl over sections of several seats and yell across the aisle, while other standing passengers are packed tightly in the aisle around them. This is overt, antisocial behavior, practiced by the young and middle-aged alike.

I see these behaviors as symptoms of the conscious and unconscious manipulation of the society by financial-capitalist business, government and media. The individualistic materialism of the past two decades has been fostered by media and Reaganite (neo-conservative and neo-liberal) political ideologues, who are hand-in-hand with financial institutions and corporations. The entrepreneurial, anti-tax, anti-socialist messages are unrelenting. Socialism has become a dirty word. Lack of socialism on a very pragmatic, democratic, non-totalitarian basis is a destructive force when human beings are overpopulating their environment. We need look at Haiti for an example of the end point of this.

This trend can take the U.S. in only one direction. Greater class separation, class conflict, violence and the degradation of the overall quality of life. Those with wealth are apparently blind beyond their own greed and need for celebrity adulation by the duped masses. This is not new. It is a sad replay of pre-democratic history. And, democratic socialism is not the cause. It may well be the cure.