Identity

A constant battle in my daily practice is one between my identity and my humanity. I see this same battle play out in the human family. The signs are everywhere.

A prime and relatively benign example is the Muslim head scarf, an outward statement of religious and cultural identity. Yes, it is just a piece of fabric. Just as red AIDS ribbons were initially. However, in countries where rabid Muslim extremists have killed innocent thousands through terrorism, this statement of identity is a barrier to harmony and trust. And, in countries where women have fought for decades for liberation from male oppression, this piece of fabric is a statement of identity with forces which would oppress women again if allowed.

I recall the early days of the rainbow flag, now a symbol associated GLBT liberation and identity. The flag's multicolors are not a reference to Dorothy's song in "The Wizard of Oz", "Over the Rainbow", as I have heard the uninformed state on several occasions. The rainbow flag was meant to symbolize a minority movement which united people of all colors and ethnic backgrounds. It was a symbol of merged identity, of shared humanity.

Getting past identity responses is difficult. As human beings, we have many tribal and familial habits of identifying with people like us which have served for centuries to provide us with a sense of safety and social stability. The reality is that groups do differ in cultural and biological ways. However, getting past that identity factor is essential to reaching a state of compassionate peace with all living beings.

Being politically correct in a conformist sense does not abolish identity issues, though it does provide a more peaceful public environment in which to do the individual work of reaching down to basic humanity to create peace and cooperation in each human situation. Getting past identity requires mindful practice. It is an important step to achieve the individual peace that promotes world peace.

Definitions

By defining who or what we are,

we often prevent ourselves

from becoming who we wish to be.

Buddhist?

It may come as a surprise to the reader that I do not consider myself to be a Buddhist. I do not consider myself to be 'GLBT' either. I do not consider myself to be 'white'. I do not consider myself to be 'Liberal'. I do not consider myself to be 'spiritual'.

I do consider myself to be the bane of all those who seek to capture and use followers for a movement, a trend or a religion. I consider myself to be 'one-being-striving-to-become-consciously-truthfully-responsibly'. Some would call me a 'free-thinker', but I do more than just think.

I do not deprive myself of the right to make judgments, decisions, evaluations, criticisms, or bad jokes. I do take responsibility for my words and actions to the best of my ability.

There is a common misconception that those who are non-violent, direct, optimistic, socialistic, intelligent and responsible are easily confronted by violence, mocking, chiding, cynicism, gangsterism. This is high-school thinking. And, unfortunately, many people in the general population do not evolve socially, emotionally or psychologically after high school. This is the price they pay for conforming to the identity that has been handed to them by society.

The title of this blog, "Buddha's Pillow", is a riddle, a provocative play on words, which, I would hope, those who have seriously studied Buddhism and other bodies of thought will understand with a smile. To those who are looking for their own Truth in my words, I simply suggest you are looking in the wrong place. If this blog has any worth, it will simply be a spark in a combustible mind.

Identity

Identity can be the foundation of individual human development in early life, yet it can become a retardant to individual human growth in later life. Young people need to develop a sense of self in relation to their environment to grow out of the narcissism of adolescence to a socialized and independent adulthood. Recent psycho-social research in wealthy countries shows that this process is prolonged into the third decade of life as prosperity and longevity increase in societies.

In later life, the reflexive animal fear of change, stimulated by progressive experiences of loss, trauma and the unpredictable nature of life, often leads people to form a rigid self-concept: 'I don't do that. I wouldn't go there. I must have my this or that.' These collected 'I do's' and 'I don'ts' form an identity that can become a prison, which confines and stifles.

Liberation from identity comes with the understanding of the inevitability of death. I am not referring to the trite 'We are all dying' attitudes seen in popular media. Understanding the inevitability of my own death has come with touching death. I have been close to my own death twice. I have nursed hundreds of dying patients. I have washed bodies for burial. I have lowered the eyelids of people I have known and loved in life. This has brought me liberation from elements of my identity which were indeed narrowing my life.

Identity is best kept fluid in practice. Always expanding and sometimes contracting. Openness to the new, balanced with faithfulness to truth, mindfulness and compassion, allows for personal growth. A vital, growing person need not worry about identity, as long as his/her growth is based in responsible and loving practice toward the human beings in his/her life. I am quite sure that love of others, rather than identity, is the core of any mindful and compassionate practice.

Choices

In every moment, the mindful and compassionate person must balance identity and humanity. This is practice.

Racism is a choice of identity over humanity. Sexism, including hatred of people for differing sexual orientations, is a choice of identity over humanity. Religious intolerance is a choice of identity over humanity. Ignoring the needs of the working poor, uninsured, mentally ill, addicted, homeless or any other peaceful human beings in need is a choice of identity over humanity.

Choosing peace is often a choice of humanity over identity. Choosing charity is often a choice of humanity over identity. Choosing humility is often a choice of humanity over identity.

Continuing to thoughtlessly choose identity over humanity in moment-by-moment living creates a bad personal environment, which will eventually alienate and marginalize. The evil of the world is built on countless individual choices of identity over humanity.

Walking the Middle Path by attending to a daily practice, committed to peace, mindfulness and compassion, entails balancing identity with humanity in every moment. Rather than seeking to change one's humanity, the seeker works relentlessly to change one's identity to harmonize with one's humanity.

Perversion

Sexuality, as an abstract concept or personal identity, is itself a perversion of a simple bodily process. Feeling the need to define oneself according to one's sexual needs or actions is a symptom of the loss of our humanity. It is, perhaps, symptomatic of population pressures, dehumanization of the industrial/electronic age, the new corporate fascism, the new resurgence of orthodox deity worship, and/or any number of other modern stresses combined.

People who are born at the ends of the sexual-preference bell curves are forced by the prejudices and hatreds of those in the middle to assert their difference politically as a form of self defense. In a post-Kinsey age, this speaks to the depth of the U.S. society's sexual dysfunction.

The need to have sexual stimulation and release is simply a human and an animal need. It is anatomic, biochemical, hormonal. If modern humans managed their bowels in the same way they manage their sexual organs, a vast portion of the human population would die of terminal constipation.

In short, sex of all kinds, like food, has been packaged and manipulated for profit and social control by capitalists and politicians. So, it is becoming increasingly difficult to have a sexually healthy life by rejecting myths and fears, fostered by media advertisers working for the powers who wish to control and/or sell sex.

In my own practice, I have grown to appreciate my sexual needs in concert with my other bodily needs. A central part of this process is the acceptance of responsibility for my own sexual needs and satisfaction of those needs. After all, do I require another person to attend to my adult needs to eat, to sleep, to digest, to eliminate? No. And, do I feel guilt when I eat to satisfy hunger, sleep to avoid fatigue, relax after a meal to digest, or lock the bathroom door behind me? No.

When we see ourselves as powerless to satisfy our basic physical needs by moderation, regulation and conscious practice, we lose our humanity and our freedom. When we deny ourselves healthy practices to satisfy the will of others, we shrink as human beings and sacrifice our own personal evolution. As with all areas of life, the person who is healthy in his/her own sexual practices has so much more to give to others when given the opportunity to share.

Identity

I believe that all I am and may become in this life will end with my death. There is no evidence to support any other understanding of death, as far as I can tell. Therefore, it is useless to even ponder the question or behave in any way based on an imaginary afterlife. We are like other material objects. At death, our atoms will simply be redistributed into the Universe from which they came.

This perspective is very liberating. By accepting the immutable and inevitable, I am freed to concentrate my energies on being the best version of me I can be in any moment. Unlike religious people who base their behavior on codes, based on the elaborate dictates of an imaginary super being, I am free to look around me and base my behavior on the real world, subject to civil, natural and physical laws. It is my responsibility to make the best ethical decisions I can.

This consciousness stimulated those behaviors in my life which have been most humanitarian and socially responsible. I believe, if all people realized that all we have in this Universe is our common humanity, we would be less divided by religion, race and ethnicity.