Valentine

 "The first representation of Saint Valentine appeared in the Nuremberg Chronicle, (1493); alongside the woodcut portrait of Valentine the text states that he was a Roman priest martyred during the reign of Claudius II, known as Claudius Gothicus. He was arrested and imprisoned upon being caught marrying Christian couples and otherwise aiding Christians who were at the time being persecuted by Claudius in Rome. Helping Christians at this time was considered a crime. Claudius took a liking to this prisoner -- until Valentinus tried to convert the Emperor -- whereupon this priest was condemned to death. He was beaten with clubs and stoned; when that didn't finish him, he was beheaded outside the Flaminian Gate. Various dates are given for the martyrdom or martyrdoms: 269, 270, or 273.[8]"...Quoted from Wikipedia Entry on St. Valentine.

Now let's get this straight, so to speak. One plausible real person, made patron saint of St. Valentine's Day, the most mainstream holiday of romance and marriage in the Christian world, was a Christian priest martyred for marrying (political) minority couples by an intolerant (polytheistic) state? Well now, I guess we can all take a lesson from that, can't we?

Commitment

Commitment is not complicated. Commitment to another person is being there for that person in mind, body and spirit, when being there for that person is needed and wanted by that person. It is not simply hanging around in a prespecified role and half-heartedly going through the motions. In too many cases. this is called 'marriage' or 'family'.

Commitment is a living, creative and conscious decision. It is not a name on a deed or a bank account. In these materialistic times, commitment is confused with financial contract. They are not the same. The financial contract may indeed be a mutually decided upon symbol of an ongoing commitment. However, the commitment itself is only as good as its regular renewal and verification by those partnered in it.

My practice involves serious maintenance and clarification of commitments. This is a process, alive in the present in each relationship which entails commitment. In an existential sense, every transaction in my life entails an openness on my part to commitment to honest and compassionate interaction. This applies to daily business transactions, contacts with strangers and contacts within my social network. When a society maintains this kind of practice, it is considered truly civilized.

Marriage

The current initiatives to legalize gay marriage in the US and around the capitalist world are misdirected from a purely humanitarian point of view. The right to gay marriage is actually a right to be the same as heterosexuals. True human rights include the right to be different. When single, childless and sexually active gay men and lesbian women are considered equal, then homosexul rights, indeed sexual rights, will have been actualized. For this to happen, single, childless, sexually active heterosexual men and women would have to be considered equal to married, parenting and monogamous or sexually inactive heterosexuals. It seems this reality is a long way off.